sheriff of Hamilton jail, who had just arrived and
detected the fugitive, Archy Dargan--the most cunning of all
bedlamites, as he afterwards assured me--in the person of the handsome
Col. Nelson.

"I knew the scamp by his laugh--I heard it half a mile," said the
sheriff, as he planted himself upon the bosom of the prostrate man, and
proceeded to leash him in proper order. Here was a concatenation
accordingly.

"Who hev' I got in the pen?" was the sapient inquiry of my captor--the
fellow whose whip had been so potent over my imagination.

"Who? Have you any body there?" demanded the sheriff.

"I reckon!--We cocht a chap that Jake made affidavy was the madman."

"Let him out then, and beg the man's pardon. I'll answer for Archy
Dargan."

My appearance before the astonished damsels was gratifying to neither
of us. I was covered with mud and blood,--and they with confusion.

"Oh! Mr. ----, how could we think it was you, such a fright as they've
made you."

Such was Miss Emmeline's speech after her recovery. Susannah's was
quite as characteristic.

"I am so very sorry, Mr. ----."

"Spare your regrets, ladies," I muttered ungraciously, as I leapt on my
horse. "I wish you a very pleasant morning."

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" yelled the bedlamite, writhing and bounding in his
leash--"a very pleasant morning."

The damsels took to their heels, and went off in one direction quite as
fast as I did in the other. Since that day, dear reader, I have never
suffered myself to scare a fool, or to fall in love with a pair of
twins; and if ever I marry, take my word for it, the happy woman shall
neither be a Susannah, nor an Emmeline.

THE CHIROPODIST

By BAYARD TAYLOR

R. Henry Bartlett was one of three gentlemen who rode from the railroad
station to Moore's Hotel, at Trenton Falls, on the top of an omnibus;
and who, having clambered down from that lofty perch, under the
inspection of forty pairs of eyes leveled at them from the balcony,
hastened to inscribe their names in the book, and secure the keys of
their several chambers. To no one of the three, however, was this
privacy so welcome as to Mr. Bartlett, who, entering his room with
flushed face, nervously dismissed the servant, locked the door, and
dropped into a chair with a pant of relief. Our business being
entirely with him, we shall at once dismiss his two companions--whom,
indeed, we have only introduced as accessories to the principal
figure--and,