ld that refused to obey ye?" demanded Mr.
Hennessy.

"Not bein' ayther a parent or an iddycator I nivir had such a child,"
said Mr. Dooley. "I don't know what I'd do if I was. Th' on'y thing I
wudden't do wud be to hit him if he cudden't hit back, an' thin I'd
think twice about it. Th' older I grow th' more things there are I
know I don't know annything about. An' wan iv thim is childher. I
can't figure thim out at all.

"What d'ye know about thim little wans that ye have so carefully reared
be lavin' thim in th' mornin' befure they got up an' losin' ye'er
temper with at night whin ye come home fr'm wurruk? They don't know ye
an' ye don't know thim. Ye'll niver know till 'tis too late. I've
often wondhered what a little boy thinks about us that call oursilves
grown up because we can't grow anny more. We wake him up in th'
mornin' whin he wants to sleep. We make him wash his face whin he
knows it don't need washin' thin as much as it will later an' we sind
him back to comb his hair in a way he don't approve iv at all. We fire
him off to school just about th' time iv day whin anny wan ought to be
out iv dures. He trudges off to a brick buildin' an' a tired teacher
tells him a lot iv things he hasn't anny inthrest in at all, like how
manny times sivin goes into a hundhred an' nine an' who was King iv
England in thirteen twinty-two an' where is Kazabazoo on the map. He
has to set there most iv th' pleasant part iv th' day with sixty other
kids an' ivry time be thries to do annything that seems right to him
like jabbin' a frind with a pin or carvin' his name on the desk, th'
sthrange lady or gintleman that acts as his keeper swoops down on him
an' makes him feel like a criminal. To'rds evenin' if he's been good
an' repressed all his nacharal instincts he's allowed to go home an'
chop some wood. Whin he's done that an' has just managed to get a few
iv his frinds together an' they're beginnin' to get up interest in th'
spoort iv throwin' bricks down into a Chinese laundhry his little
sister comes out an' tells him he's wanted at home. He instinctively
pulls her hair an' goes in to study his lessons so that he'll be able
to-morrow to answer some ridiklous questions that are goin' to be asked
him. Afther a while ye come home an' greet him with ye'er usual glare
an' ye have supper together. Ye do most iv th' talkin', which ain't
much. If he thries to cut in with somethin' that intelligent people
ought to talk