aid, "Oh yes--do read it, Mrs. SPIGOT; it's a wonderfully accurate
account, RICHARD says;" and that old cat read it all through. She then
smiled, and said, "Yes, very flattering indeed." After she had gone,
mother took it up, and, to her horror, found what it was. She was
furious. When I got home in the afternoon, I found her in a state of
what Dr. BAKER calls "extreme nervous excitement," with the _Meteor_
lying in little scraps all over the drawing-room, just as if a
paper-chase had been through there. She said, "Don't let me ever see
that infamous paper again, DICK. The man who wrote it owes you some
grudge, of course. Such a scoundrel ought to be denounced." I said I
quite agreed with her. Later on, met VULLIAMY at the Club. We spoke
about Billsbury. He asked me, with a sort of chuckle, if I'd seen the
_Star_, and advised me to have a look at it, as there was something
about me in it. This is what I found in the column headed "Mainly
About People":--

"Mr. RICHARD PATTLE, who is to be the Conservative Candidate for
Billsbury at the next election, is a young man of twenty-six. At
Oxford he was generally called 'PODGE PATTLE' by his friends He took a
fourth class in History. His oratorical efforts at the Union were not
very striking, but he rowed in his College Torpid, which was bumped
four times.

"Mr. PATTLE, as maybe inferred from his nickname, is neither tall nor
thin. He is a member of the Middle Temple, but his eloquence has not
yet astonished the Courts of Law. His father died five years ago,
leaving him a considerable fortune, part of which he proposes to waste
in the hopeless attempt to turn out Sir THOMAS CHUBSON."

Confound the people, I wish they'd mind their own business and leave
me alone!

_March_ 17.--Haven't been down to Billsbury again yet, but go the day
after to-morrow to speak at a Mass Meeting of Conservative electors.
However, I've had shoals of letters from the place--nearly all of
them asking for subscriptions. The Five Bars Cricket Club, the Lilies
Cricket Club, the Buffaloes Cricket Club, and the Blue Horse Cricket
Club have all elected me a vice-president, and solicit the honour of
my support. The Billsbury Free Dispensary is much in want of funds,
and the Secretary points out that Sir THOMAS CHUBSON has subscribed L5
regularly every year. The United Ironmongers' Friendly Society wishes
me to be an Honorary Member. CHUBSON subscribes L2 2s. to them. The
Billsbury Brass Band, and three