e by nailing some leather straps over a circular hole in a bench. The
man had nothing to do but to occupy this seat and pound pegs. But the very
next week I heard a fine preacher whose roaring eloquence, together with
his easy, dignified life, caused me to think that the pulpit was the
place for me. A few weeks later I chanced to see a sleight-of-hand
performance and I at once decided that the art of legerdemain would be
more easily learned than the Gospel work; so I began to practice along
this line by extracting potatoes and other sundries from the nasal
appendages of members of the household. I was succeeding admirably, I
thought, until one day in attempting to eat cotton and blow fire out of my
mouth I burnt my tongue painfully and became so disgusted that I abandoned
the idea of becoming a showman.

In turn I had fully made up my mind to become a huckster, an auctioneer, a
scissors-grinder, a peanut-vender, an editor, an artist, a book-keeper,
etc. My natural selection being always something that I thought would not
require great energy.

As I became a little older, my mental horizon widened somewhat, but my
erratic notions became accordingly more expansive. I was simply a little
dreamer and my thoughts were all visionary. It is true that I was quite
young, but the proverbial straws pointing the direction of the wind had an
application in my case.

CHAPTER III.

AS A SHIFTLESS AND PURPOSELESS YOUTH.

Time passed on--that's about all time does anyway--and my idle habits
still clung to me. In fact they grew stronger and faster than I did. My
moods and whims were subject to many changes, however. Something new and
absurd entered my mind every day. It was usually concerning the reckless
waste of energy. I never indulged in expletives or useless words; never
said "golly," "hully gee," or anything that consumed time and strength
without giving adequate return. Unconsciously I believed in the
conservation of energy. "What's the use?" seemed to be with me a
deep-rooted principle.

Being now at an age when I could be of some service in doing odd chores
and errands, it was a heavy tax upon my ingenuity always to have a
plausible excuse for getting out of work. When there was a little labor
scheduled for me, I began to work my wits overtime trying to see a way out
of it. Sometimes I became very studious, hoping thus to escape
observation, or I put up the plea that I was sick, tired or worn-out. I
had practiced