riend said: "You don't know what a feeling
of exhilaration and well-being a little good champagne will give you. Try
it once; don't associate it with common alcoholic stimulants." Those last
words, well-meant but, to me, misleading, caused me to make a spectacle of
myself for a short period of time. While I partook of this fizzing
beverage lightly, the reader will understand how readily the stuff
affected my susceptible system and how quickly it went to my head. And
then it seemed to have staying qualities. The next morning I was crazier
than ever, but toward evening I crawled out on the lawn in a secluded
corner. The fresh air did me good, but for several hours I had to hold on
to the grass _to keep from dropping off the earth_.

Here I halted on my road to ruin. I resolved that between remaining a
neurasthenic who enjoyed the respect and esteem of a large circle of
friends, and becoming a depraved wretch, I would choose the former. I had
no ambition to become a sport or a rounder, but would continue the even
tenor of my former way and stick to those things in which I could indulge
without moral or mental reservations.

Now, whenever I see a bibulous man, it brings to my mind visions of that
one experience and how I was compelled to hold on for dear life to keep
from falling into space.

CHAPTER XV.

CONSIDERS POLITICS AND RELIGION. CONSULTS OSTEOPATHIC AND HOMEOPATHIC
DOCTORS.

By this time I was beginning to get tolerably well acquainted with myself.
The reader may perhaps think--if he cares enough to think--that I did not
enjoy life; but I did in my evanescent, changeful way. I was always
wavering between optimism and pessimism. Some days one of these qualities
would predominate and some days the other would be in evidence. I never
knew one day what the next would bring forth. I came to understand myself
so well that I never started anything with the determination to carry it
to a finish.

I thought about entering politics, but did not know with what party to
cast my affiliations. The Democrats and the Republicans both claimed to
favor a judicious revision of the tariff as well as a yearning to bridle
the trusts and money power. So did the Populists. Each of them had plenty
of plans for solving the vexed and ever-present problem of capital and
labor. Each party espoused the cause of the masses who toil, and each
likewise favored laws which would enable one to get the highest price if
he had labor or p