to make me
believe that nothing is or ever was. Just a great big, overgrown
imagination. However, I cannot refrain from perpetrating that old gag
about their taking real money for what they did for me.

I soon dropped science and was treated by hypnotic suggestion. I would
seat myself in an easy-chair midst seductive surroundings and the great
metaphysician would then say: "Put your objective senses in abeyance with
complete mental oblivion, and enter a state of profound passivity." This
interpreted into plain United States would mean: "Forget your troubles and
go to sleep." When I was in a suggestible mood the doctor would address a
little speech to what he called my subconscious mind, after which he sent
me on my way rejoicing. About this time a friend advised me to consult a
vibrationist, which I did.

This man told me that the trouble in my case was in my polarization; not
enough positive for the negative elements. However, he assured me that I
could be cured by sleeping with my head to the northwest and wearing his
insulated soles inside my shoes. I postponed taking this treatment until
after I had heard from an astrologist to whom I had written. The latter
agreed to tell me all I cared to know about myself and my ailments, which
he would deduce from the date of my birth. His graphic description of the
diseases to which I was liable gave me a favorable impression of his
astute wisdom. So I wrote to about a dozen other astrologists for
horoscopes of my life in order to see whether all their findings were the
same. Some of them tallied almost verbatim with the first one received,
while others were diametrically opposite. From this I inferred that these
star-gazers gained their information in at least two ways: from their
imaginations and from a book.

CHAPTER XIV.

THE CULTIVATION OF A FEW VICES AND THE CONSEQUENCES.

When I found that I couldn't possibly do nothing--I do not mean this in
the ungrammatical sense in which it is so often used--I thought I would be
obliged to take up some new calling or diversion. Time hung heavily on my
hands and I thought too much about myself, as usual. A mental healer had
told me that I was too imaginative and thought of too many different
things. He said: "A part of the time try to think of absolutely nothing;
think of yourself." I did not know whether he meant this literally or as a
bit of sarcasm. Anyway, I realized that it was best for me to keep the ego
in subject