e're all angels--though for divils I'll allow,
'Tis the black ones ye'll be seeing where the lost to Redmond bow.'

"Then Misther Swift MacNeill, just to lave his meaning clear,
Wid flowers of Irish eloquence filled Mr. Furniss' ear;
An' he also shook wid passion, an', moreover, shook his fist,
An' the Docther an' his blackthorn stood all ready to assist.

"Misther Furniss smiled serenely, an' the only word he spoke
Was to say it seemed that Misther Swift was slow to see a joke,
But for all his jokes an' blarney, things were looking like a fight,
When a minion of the Spayker was seen to be in sight.

"Then Apollo Swift MacNeill from his dignity got down,
An' he withered Misther Furniss wid a godlike parting frown,
An' he stalked along the Lobby wid his grand O'Tarquin stride,
An' the other Mimbers followed him, an' went the House inside.

"An' there they still are threading on the necks of Saxon slaves,
An' nightly wid their eloquence they're digging Saxon graves;
An' my counsel to the artist who their fatures would porthray,
Is to thry and see their beauty through the glasses of Tay Pay."

This manufactured "scene," coming as it did in the silly season, was
made to serve instead of the Sea-Serpent, the Toad-in-the-Rock, the
Shower of Frogs, and other familiar inventions for holiday reading.
Unfortunately the poor Members of Parliament obliged to remain in St.
Stephen's had to suffer far more than I did through the eccentricity of
Mr. Swift MacNeill. Several of them complained to me that he lured them
into the corridors and corners of the House, and then vigorously set to
work to demonstrate practically how he assaulted me, or how he imagined
he assaulted me, to the discomfiture and consternation of the poor
M.P's.

[Illustration: JOHN BURNS.]

I should like to explain why this "technical assault" on me was not made
a matter of discussion. I did intend a friendly Member should have
brought it before the Speaker, and in that way published the truth of
the matter and exposed the stupid inventions of Burns & Co. With that
object I had an interview with the Speaker, and he implored me not under
any circumstances to have it brought before the House. He was already
tired, at the end of a trying session, and did not want any personal
questions discussed, which invariably led to protracted scenes. For that
reason, and for that reason only, it was not mentioned in Parliament,