od advice that she needed bleeding,
And she began to recover soon thereafter.
Orgon. And Tartuffe?
Dorine. He couldn't have been any better.
To fortify himself against every ill
And to regain the blood that Madam spilled,
He drank at brunch four great glasses of wine.
Orgon. Poor fellow!
Dorine. Both of them are now quite fine;
I'll now be going up to tell your wife
Of your deep concern at this threat to her life.

SCENE V
Orgon, Cleante

Cleante. She's making fun of you to your face, brother;
And, though I don't intend to be a bother,
I must frankly admit that there's some justice
In what she says. What a crazy caprice
You have for him! And how could he exert
Such charm that you'll even let your wife be hurt?
After taking this pauper into your heart,
You go so far . . .
Orgon. Stop there! Or we must part!
You don't know the man to whom you refer.
Cleante. Okay. Say I don't know him if you prefer,
But then to know what sort of man he might be . . .
Orgon. Brother, you'd be charmed if you could only see
Him, and your glee would be . . . gargantuan!
He's a man who . . . who . . . a man . . . well, a man!
Learn from him a peacefulness most exquisite,
That lets you drop your woes like . . . dried horseshit!
Yes, I've been reborn because of his preaching:
He teaches me that I shouldn't love anything,
From every earthly passion he has freed my life;
I'd watch my brother, mother, children, and wife
Drop dead without caring so much as that! [He snaps his fingers.]
Cleante. You've sure got humane sentiments down pat!
Orgon. Ah! If you'd seen him as I did at first,
Your eyes would have feasted on him with a spiritual thirst!
Each day he came to church smiling with sweet peace
And threw himself down before me on both knees.
He drew upon himself the eyes of everyone there
By the holy fervor of his pious prayer.
He sighed and wept with a most saintly passion
And humbly kissed the earth in a fetching fashion;
And when I was going, he rushed out front
To bless me with water from the holy font.
His servant (matching his master to a T)
Then informed me of his identity--
And his