and sank to sleep under the table. The last toast on the programme was
announced. It was a wonderful toast--"Our mineral resources:" The old
squatter rose in his glory, about three o'clock in the morning, to
respond to this toast, and thus he responded:

"Mizzer Churman and Gent-tul-men of the Banquet: I have never made
mineralogy a study, nor zoology, nor any other kind of 'ology,' but
if there haint m-i-n-e-r-l in the deestrick which you gent-tul-men
have jist purchased from me at sitch magnifercent figers, then the
imagernation of man is a deception an' a snare. But gent-tul-men, you
caint expect to find m-i-n-e-r-l without plenty uv diggin'. I have been
diggin' thar for the past forty year fur it, an' haint never struck it
yit, I hope you gen-tul-men will strike it some time endurin' the next
forty year." Here, with winks and blinks and clinched teeth, the old
Colonel pulled his coat tail; he was spoiling the town boom. But he
would not down. He continued in the same eloquent strain: "Gent-tul-men,
you caint expect to find m-i-n-e-r-l without plenty uv diggin.' You
caint expect to find nothin' in this world without plenty uv diggin'.
There is no excellence without labor gent-tul-men. If old Vanderbilt
hadn't a-been persevering in his pertickler kind uv dig-gin', whar would
he be to-day? He wouldn't now be a rich man, a-ridin' the billers of old
ocean in his magnifercent 'yatchet.' If I hadn't a-been perseverin',
an' hadn't a-kep on a-dig-gin' an' a-diggin, whar would I have been
to-day? I mout have been seated like you gent-tul-men, at this
stupenduous banquet, with my pockets full of watered stock, and some
other old American citizen mout have been deliverin' this eulogy on our
m-i-n-e-r-l resources. Gent-tul-men, my injunction to you is never to
stop diggin'. And while you're a-diggin', cultivate a love for the
beautiful, the true and the good. Speakin' of the beautiful, the true,
and the good, gent-tul-men, let us not forgit woman at this magnifercent
banquet--Oh! woman, woman, woman! when the mornin' stars sung together
for joy--an' woman--God bless 'er----Great God, feller citerzens, caint
you understand!!!!"

[Illustration: THE BANQUET.]

At the close of this great speech the curtain fell to slow music, and
there was a panic in land stocks.

THERE IS MUSIC ALL AROUND US.

There is music all around us, there is music everywhere. There is no
music so sweet to the American ear as the music of politi