in
great agony of soul. And now, Oh Lord, I am about to be forced to put in
his coffin, this poor miserable wretch, who has attacked me here to-day.
Oh Lord, have mercy upon his soul and take care of his helpless widow
and orphans when he is gone!"

And he arose whetting his knife on his shoe-sole, singing:

"Hark, from the tomb a doleful sound,
Mine ears attend the cry."

But when he looked around, Bert was gone. There was nothing in sight but
a little cloud of dust far up the road, following in the wake of the
vanishing champion.

[Illustration]

BROTHER ESTEP AND THE TRUMPET.

During the great revival which followed Brother Patterson's first
sermon and effective prayer, the hour for the old-fashioned Methodist
love feast arrived. Old Brother Estep, in his enthusiasm on such
occasions sometimes "stretched his blanket." It was his glory to get
up a sensation among the brethren. He rose and said: "Bretheren, while
I was a-walkin' in my gyardin late yisterday evenin', a-meditatin' on
the final eend of the world, I looked up, an' I seed Gabrael raise his
silver trumpet, which was about fifty foot long, to his blazin' lips,
an' I hearn him give it a toot that knocked me into the fence corner
an' shuck the very taters out'n the ground."

"Tut, tut," said the old parson, "don't talk that way in this meeting;
we all know you didn't hear Gabrael blow his trumpet." The old man's
wife jumped to her feet to help her husband out, and said: "Now parson,
you set down there. Don't you dispute John's word that-away--He mout
a-hearn a toot or two."

"WAMPER-JAW" AT THE JOLLIFICATION.

The sideboard of those good old times would have thrown the prohibition
candidate of to-day into spasms. It sparkled with cut glass decanters
full of the juices of corn, and rye, and apple. The old Squire of the
mill "Deestrict" had as many sweet, buzzing friends as any flower garden
or cider press in Christendom. The most industrious bee that sucked at
the Squire's sideboard was old "Wamper-jaw." His mouth reached from ear
to ear, and was inlaid with huge gums as red as vermilion; and when he
laughed it had the appearance of lightning. On the triumphant day of the
Squire's re-election to his great office, when everything was lovely and
"the goose hung high," he was surrounded by a large crowd of his fellow
citizens, and Thomas Jefferson, in his palmiest days, never looked
grander than did the Squire on this occasion. He