our Lord at once made me understand how He helps
those who do any violence to themselves in order to serve Him. No one
observed this violence in me. They saw nothing in me but the greatest
goodwill. At that sore step I was filled with a joy so great that it has
never wholly left me to this day. God converted the dryness of my soul
into the greatest tenderness, immediately on my taking up that cross.
Everything in religion was now a real delight to me. I had more pleasure
now in sweeping the house than I had in all the balls and dances I had
forsaken for His sake. Whenever I remember those early days, it makes me
ready to take up any cross whatsoever. For I know now by a long and a
various experience that His Majesty richly rewards even in this life all
the self-denial that we do for His sake and service. I know this by many
experiences; and if I were a person who had to advise and guide God's
people, I would urge them to fear no difficulty whatsoever in the path of
duty: for our God is omnipotent, and He is on our side. May He be
blessed for ever! Amen.

O my supreme Good and my true Rest, I know not how to go on when I call
those happy days to mind, and think of all my evil life since then! My
tears ought to be tears of blood. My heart ought to break. But Thou,
Lord, hast borne with me for almost twenty years, till I have had time to
improve. And all that it might be better known to me who Thou art and
what I am. Woe is me, my Maker! I have no excuse, I have only blame.
Let Thy mercy, O Lord, rest on me. Other women there have been who have
done great deeds in Thy service, but I am good only to talk: all my
goodness ends in so many words: that is all my service of Thee, my God.
Cost me what it may, let me not go on coming to Thee with idle words and
empty hands, seeing that the reward of every one will be according to his
works. Depart not from me, and I can do all things. Depart from me, and
I shall return to whence I was taken, even to hell.

One of the reasons that move me, who am what I am, to write all this even
under obedience, and to give an account of my wretched life, and of the
graces the Lord hath wrought in me is this,--and would that I were a
person of authority, and then people would perhaps believe what I say.
This then is what I would say and repeat continually if any one would
hear me. Let no one ever say: If I fall into sin, I cannot then pray. In
this the devil turned his most dr