infinity of the
unmitigated, the supreme of the superfluous. In unqualified,
inexcusable, unsurpassable meanness you are the very IT!"

"Sir," said the old gentleman, rising and bowing, "you are a man of
unusual penetration, and I like you. I should like to see more of you,
but your hour has expired. I thank you for your pleasant words, and I
bid you an affectionate good-morning."

A deep-toned bell struck the hour of twelve. A fanfare of trumpets
sounded outside, and the huge door flew open, and without a word in
reply, glad of my deliverance, I turned and fled precipitately through
it. The sumptuous guard stood outside to receive me, and as the door
closed behind me the band struck up a swelling measure that I shall
not soon forget.

"Well," said the Major Domo, as we proceeded back to my quarters, "did
he receive you nicely?"

"Who?" said I.

"Jupiter, of course," he said.

"I didn't see him," I replied, sadly. "I fell in with a beastly old
bore who wouldn't let go of me. You showed me into the wrong room. Who
was that old beggar, anyhow?"

"Beggar?" he cried. "Wrong room? Beggar?"

"Certainly," said I. "Beggar is mild, I admit. But he's all that and
much more. Who is he?"

"I don't know what you mean," replied the Major Domo. "But you have
been for the last hour with his Majesty himself."

"What?" I cried. "I--that old man--we--"

"The old gentleman was Jupiter. Didn't he tell you? He made a special
effort to make you feel at home--put himself on a purely mortal
basis--"

I fell back, limp and nerveless.

"What will he think of me?" I moaned, as I realized what had
happened.

[Illustration: "'WHAT?' I CRIED. 'I--THAT OLD MAN--WE'"]

"He thinks you are the best yet," said the Major Domo. "He has sent
word by his messenger, Mercury, that the honors of Olympus are to be
showered upon you to their fullest extent. He says you are the only
frank mortal he ever met."

And with this I was escorted back to my rooms at the hotel, impressed
with the idea that all is not lead that doesn't glitter, and when I
thought of my invention of the word "stult," I began to wish I had
never been born.

XI

A Royal Outing

As may be imagined after my untoward interview with Jupiter, the state
of my mind was far from easy. It is not pleasant to realize that you
have applied every known epithet of contempt to a god who has an
off-hand way of disposing of his enemies by turning them into
apple-trees, or d