materials into a munitions factory, explained in defence that no locker had
been assigned to him. The Bench thereupon placed one at his disposal for a
period of one month.

***

On the Somme, says _The Times_, the New Zealand Pioneers, consisting of
Maoris, Pakehas and Raratongans, dug 13,163 yards of trenches, mostly under
German fire. The really thrilling fact about this is that we have enlisted
the sympathy of the Pakehas (or "white men"), who, with the single
exception of the Sahibs of India, are probably the fiercest tribe in our
vast Imperial possessions.

***

The announcement that the Scotland Yard examination will not be lowered for
women taxicab drivers has elicited a number of inquiries as to whether
"language" is a compulsory or an alternative subject.

***

"The feathers are most quickly got rid of by removing them with the skin,"
says the writer of a recently published letter on "Sparrows as Food." He
forgets the very considerable economy which can be achieved by having them
baked in their jackets.

***

We are glad to note an agitation for a bath-room in every artisan dwelling.
Only last week we were pained by a photograph in a weekly paper showing
somebody reduced to taking his tub in the icy Serpentine.

***

Motto for Housekeepers:--

"WEIGH IT AND SEE."

* * * * *

NATIONAL SERVICE.

War has taught the truth that shines
Through the poet's noble lines:--
"Common are to either sex
_Artifex_ and _opifex_."

* * * * *

WILLIAM v. THE WORLD.

Doubtless you feel that such a fight
Would be a huge _reclame_ for Hundom;
That Earth would stagger at the sight
Of _Gulielmus contra Mundum;_
That WILLIAM, facing awful odds,
Should prove a spectacle for men and gods.

('Tis true you have Allies who share
The toll you levy for the shambles,
Yet, judging by the frills you wear
In this your most forlorn of gambles,
One might suppose you stood alone
In solitary splendour all your own.)

And if the game against you goes,
As seems, I take it, fairly certain,
The Hero, felled by countless foes,
Should make a rather useful curtain;
You could with honour cry for grace,
Having preserved the thing you call your face.

I shouldn't count too much on that.
The globe is patient, slow and pensive,
But has a way of crush