ing flat
The objects which it finds offensive;
And when it's done with you, my brave,
I doubt if you will have a face to save.

O.S.

* * * * *

A LOST LEADER.

"Mr. Law began his speech with intermittent cries for Mr. Lloyd
George."--_The Saturday Westminster Gazette._

We can well understand Mr. LAW'S sense of loneliness, and our contemporary
has performed a genuine service in recording this pathetic incident, which
seems to have escaped all the other reporters of the opening of Parliament.

* * * * *

"His mother died when he was seven years old, while his father lived to
be nearly a centurion."--_Wallasey and Wirral Chronicle._

Hard lines that he just missed his promotion.

* * * * *

"ROYAL FLYING CORPS.

FLIGHT COMDRS.--Lt. (temp. Capt.) F.P. Don, and to retain his temp.
tank whilst so empld."--_The Times._

We commend this engaging theme to the notice of Mr. LANCELOT SPEED, in case
the popularity of his film, "Tank Pranks," now being exhibited, should call
for a second edition.

* * * * *

"Four lb. of bread (or 3 lb. of flour), 2-1/2 lb. of meat, and 3/4 lb. of
sugar--these are the voluntary rations for each person for a week, and
in a household of five persons this works out at 23-1/3 lb. of bread
and flour, 9 lb. of meat, and 4 lb. of sugar."--_Weekly Scotsman._

We always like to have our arithmetic done for us by one who has the trick
of it.

* * * * *

"WANTED, False Teeth, any condition; highest price given, buying for
Government."--_Local Paper._

This may account for the statement in another journal that "the new
Administration is going through teething troubles."

* * * * *

Mr. Punch begs to call the attention of his readers to an exhibition of
original War-Cartoons to be held by his namesake of Australia at 155, New
Bond Street, beginning on February 22nd. The cartoons are the work of
Messrs. GEORGE H. DANCEY and CHARLES NUTTALL, of the Melbourne _Punch._

* * * * *

HEART-TO-HEART TALKS.

(_The PRESIDENT of the United States and Mr. GERARD._)

_The President._ Here you are then at last, my dear Mr. GERARD. I am afraid
you have had a long and uncomfortable journey.

_Mr. Gerard._ Don't say a word