ed
and pasted together the whole will be despatched to those residents in the
Isle of Man who have never heard of _The Times_.

_From_ "_The Wiggleswick Weekly_":--

IMPORTANT NOTICE.

From Monday next the price of _The Wiggleswick Weekly_ (with which is
incorporated _The Bindleton Advertiser_ and _The Swashborough Gazette_)
will be 17_s._ 6_d._ per copy. If this--the forty-seventh--increase in
price does not bring about the desired reduction in circulation we shall
unhesitatingly advance the price to L1 9_s._ 5-3/4_d._ per copy. The
management of _The Wiggleswick Weekly_ is determined, at no matter what
sacrifice, to limit the circulation to forty copies weekly.

* * * * *

From an ecclesiastical magazine:--

"The Vicar of ---- has promised to address our branch of the C.E.M.S.
as soon as he can arrange a fine and moonlight evening."

We should be greatly obliged if the reverend gentleman would let us have
the prescription. There should be money in it.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Doctor's Wife_. "SO GLAD TO SEE YOU OUT AGAIN. THE DOCTOR
AND I HAD NO IDEA YOU'D BEEN SO ILL TILL WE CAME TO MAKE UP THE BOOKS."]

* * * * *

SOME MORE BAD WORDS.

In a recent verse adventure
I compiled "a little list"
Of the verbs deserving censure,
Verbs that "never would be missed";
Now, to flatter the fastidious,
Suffer me the work to crown
With three epithets--all hideous--
And one noisome noun.

First, to add to the recital
Of the words that gall and irk,
Is the old offender "vital,"
Done to death by overwork;
Only a prolonged embargo
On its use by Press and pen
Can recall this kind of _argot_
Back to life again.

I, in days not very distant,
Though the memory gives me pain,
From the awful word "insistent"
Did not utterly refrain;
Once it promised to refresh us,
Seemed to be alert enough;
Now I loathe it, laboured, precious--
Merely verbal fluff.

Thirdly, in the sheets that daily
Cater for our vulgar needs,
There's a word that figures gaily
In reviewers' friendly screeds,
Who declare a book's "arresting,"
Mostly, it must be confessed,
Meaning just the problem-questing
Which deserves arrest.

Last and vilest of this bad band
Is that noun of gruesome sound,
"Uplift," which the clan of _Chadband_
H