ale.

* * * * *

Definition by an Envious Wood-Engraver.

ZINCALI--Artists who draw on zinc plates.

* * * * *

[Illustration: AN AGGRAVATED CASE.

_Man with Muffler_. "IT ISN'T THE FACT OF THE SORE THROAT I MIND SO MUCH
AS THE SUSPICION THAT I CAUGHT IT FROM THAT BEASTLY SNOB, BURLAPS, WHO
OCCUPIES THE ROOMS OPPOSITE."]

* * * * *

Truly Noble.

We have been requested to publish the following letter:

NEW-YORK, March 1, 1870.

TO THE PATRIOTS HAVING CHARGE OF THE MONUMENT TO VICTOR NOIR:

GENTLEMEN: I honor the brave! I am of America, American! I import from
bleeding France her brandy, her champagne, her claret, her olives, and
her sardines. I dispose of them at 1108 Lispenard street, New-York,
where my peculiar facilities enable me to offer unusual inducements to
the trade! I am with you and against tyrants! _Vive la freedom!_ I
inclose seven francs as a contribution to the monument! D.E.D. BEHTE.

* * * * *

Perennius AEre.

In view of the recent long and luminous discourse by a distinguished
United States Senator upon the subject of the funding bill, it is
respectfully suggested that a part of the amount to be saved to the
nation by this financial scheme shall be devoted to the erection of a
"palace lifting to eternal SUMNER!"

* * * * *

A Question for Ben Butler's Nurse.

Was the honorable member from Massachusetts _really_ born with a silver
spoon in his _mouth_?

* * * * *

The Witch and the Switch.

Fashionable women are like the conventional school-mistress--they
believe in the switch.

* * * * *

Naughty.

When did the people send a cipher to the State Senate? When they sent
NORT-on there.

* * * * *

THE MARINER'S WRONGS.

Within the memories of men who are not yet old, the sailor was always
looked upon and talked about as "a jolly dog." There was a glamour of
romance about him when he was at sea, and "JACK ashore" was for ages
held up as the presentment of all that was happy, and contented, and
free from care. His hardest duty was supposed to be shinning up the
ratlin to "reef," or "brail up," or "splice the mainbrace," or do some
other of those mysterious things that caused him to look so mythical to
the minds of land-lubbers