S speech
his friends came in from WELCKER'S, and congratulated him on having got
through. Exhausted nature made the Senate adjourn.

HOUSE.

After some general sparring, of which a set to between Mr. GARFIELD and
Mr. HAIGHT formed the most conspicuous feature, the cadetship question
came up. Mr. VOORHEES explained that he never had sold any cadetships.
Mr. LOGAN wished to know who said he had. Mr. VOORHEES remarked that Mr.
LOGAN was another. Mr. VOORHEES explained that he had appointed the son
of a constituent, and that subsequently to the appointment he had taken
a drink at the expense and the request of the constituent. He always
took his straight, and the cost to his constituent was only fifteen
cents. Which one of his colleagues would have acted otherwise? (Voices,
"Not one.")

Mr. BUTLER denounced the course of Mr. VOORHEES. For his part, he saw no
impropriety in selling cadetships or any thing else. What do gentlemen
suppose that cadetships exist for, if it is not for the emolument of
congressmen? He considered his patronage as a part of his perquisites.
This had been the guiding principle of his life, alike in his military
and his political career. He considered the action of Mr. VOORHEES to be
an act of deliberate treachery to this House. If he accepted a pitiful
drink in return for his official influence, he was guilty of a gross
offense in cheapening the price of patronage. A cadetship was worth $500
if it was worth a cent. If, on the other hand, he gave his cadetship
away, his conduct was even more culpable; for other congressmen might be
weak enough to follow his baleful example, and the market would be
broken down. He advocated the formation of a Congressional Labor Union
to determine the value of these appointments, and to expel all members
who took less than the standard rate. This was what was done in other
branches of business, and if his colleagues wished to be like him, the
little busy B.F.B., and improve each shining hour, this is what they
would do.

And then the House adjourned.

* * * * *

READY-MADE EPITAPHS.

On a Departed Clown.

Though lost to sight, to mummery dear.

On a Faithful Book-keeper.

Posted up.

* * * * *

Wring the Belles.

American belles ought to make good housewives, because they put up with
little or no waist.

* * * * *

To whom it may Concern.

Persons who