ul thing for a man suddenly to find he has
been entertaining a hero unawares.

"Oh, Dicky Bird, Dicky Bird, why did you do it?" he inquired softly.

The Padre cocked his head on one side and commenced to ooze apologies
from every pore.

"Oh dear--you know how absurdly absent-minded I am; well, I suddenly
remembered I had left my teeth behind."

PATLANDER.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Old Lady._ "And what regiment are you in?"

_The Sub._ "7th Blankshires. But I'm attached to the 9th Wessex."

_Old Lady._ "Really! Now _do_ tell me why the officers get so fond of
regiments with aren't their own."]

* * * * *

"At Nottingham on Saturday the damages ranging from L7 10s. to
L3 were ordered to be paid by a number of miners for
absenteeism. It was stated that, although absolved from
military obligations by reason of their occupation, there had
been glaring neglect of responsibility, some men having lost
three ships a week."--_Western Morning News_.

These mines are very tricky things.

* * * * *

THE AS.

The French, always so quick to give things names--and so liberal about
it that, to the embarrassment and undoing of the unhappy foreigner, they
sometimes invent fifty names for one thing--have added so many words to
the vocabulary since August, 1914, that a glossary, and perhaps more
than one, has been published to enshrine them. Without the assistance of
this glossary it is almost impossible to read some of the numerous
novels of poilu life.

So far as I am aware the latest creation is the infinitesimal word "as,"
or rather, it is a case of adaptation. Yesterday "as des carreaux" (to
give the full form) stood simply for ace of diamonds. To-day all France,
with that swift assimilation which has ever been one of its many
mysteries, knows its new meaning and applies it.

And what is this new "as"? I gather, without having had the advantage of
cross-examining a French soldier, that an "as" is an obscure hero, one
of the men, and they are by no means rare, who do wonderful things but
do not get into the papers or receive medals or any mention in
despatches. We all know that many of the finest deeds performed in war
escape recognition. One does not want to suggest that V.C.'s and
D.S.O.'s and Military Crosses and all the other desirable tokens of
valour are conferred wrongly. Nothing of the kind.