e very early in the War
My Mentors in the Press
Have never failed in warning me,
By way of S.O.S.,
To keep my eye on So-and-So
In times of storm and stress.

I think that WINSTON was the first
Commended to my gaze,
But very soon I found my eyes--
Tired by the limelight's blaze--
Incapable of following
His strange and devious ways.

I watched the PRESIDENT and thought
(Unjustly) he was canting;
I watched our late PRIME MINISTER
When furious scribes were ranting,
And vigilantly bent my looks
On HARDEN and on BRANTING.

I watched JONESCU, also JONES
(Great KENNEDY) and HUGHES;
I sought illumination from
BILLING'S momentous views;
I watched Freemasons, Socialists,
And Salonica Jews.

And lately with emotions which
Transcend the power of rhymes
I've scanned with reverential eye
Those highly-favoured climes
Ennobled by the presence of
The ruler of the T***s.

I've glued my eye on seer and sage,
On Mecca's brave Sherif;
I've fastened it on what's-his-name,
The famed Albanian chief,
Till, wearying of the watcher's task,
At length I crave relief.

So when I'm bidden at this stage
To start the game anew
And keep KAROLYI constantly
And carefully in view,
I think I'm wholly justified
In answering, "Nah Poo!"

* * * * *

AN EQUIVOCAL COMPLIMENT.

"Dundee," said one of its leading citizens at the luncheon,
"will stand by Mr. Churchill to the last letter."--_Daily
Chronicle_.

Evidently "l" itself would not sever Mr. CHURCHILL'S connection with his
old friends.

* * * * *

"$20 buys a horse, good in his wind, if sold at
once."--_Canadian Paper_.

Better not wait for his second wind.

* * * * *

"Coow wanted, first week in August, for Lads Brigade Camp, 120
Lads; must be used to Field kitchens."

It looks like being "bad for the coow."

* * * * *

GEMS FROM THE JUNIORS.

WAR WORK.

War work is what wimmen do when their arnt enuff men. Or men do it too
sometimes if they are rather old and weak and cant be soldiers, but it
is mostly wimmen. Some war work you get paid for but some you don't. It
just depens whether you are rich and do V A D or poor and do munisions
and things. V A D means something but I forget what. My br