and commits such gross blunders in the
detail, that everybody is in pain for him. Caesar, Pompey, and Alexander
the Great, are continually in his mouth; and, as he reads a good deal
without any judgment to digest it, his ideas are confused, and his
harangues as unintelligible as infinite; for, if once he begin, there is
no chance of his leaving off speaking while one person remains to yield
attention; therefore the only expedient I know, for putting a stop to
his loquacity, is to lay hold of some incongruity he has uttered, and
demand an explanation; or ask the meaning of some difficult term that he
knows by name; this method will effectually put him to silence, if not
to flight, as it happened when I inquired about an epaulement. Had he
been acquainted with the signification of that word, his triumph would
have been intolerable, and we must have quitted the field first, or been
worried with impertinence."

Having thus gratified my curiosity, the old gentleman began to discover
his own, in questions relating to myself, to which I thought proper
to return ambiguous answers. "I presume, Sir," said he, "you have
travelled." I answered, "Yes." "I dare say you have found it very
expensive," said he. I replied, "To be sure, one cannot travel without
money." "That I know by experience," said he, "for I myself take a trip
to Bath or Tunbridge every season; and one must pay sauce for what he
has on the road, as well in other countries as in this. That's a pretty
stone in your ring--give me leave, sir--the French have attained to
a wonderful skill in making compositions of this kind. Why, now, this
looks almost as well as a diamond." "Almost as well, Sir!" said I, "Why
not altogether? I am sure if you understand anything of jewels, you must
perceive, at first sight, that this stone is a real diamond, and that of
a very fine water. Take it in your hand and examine it." He did so with
some confusion, and returned it, saying, "I ask your pardon; I see it
is a true brilliant of immense value." I imagined his respect to me
increased after this inquiry; therefore to captivate his esteem the
more, I told him, I would show him a seal of composition, engraved after
a very valuable antique; upon which I pulled out my watch with a rich
gold chain, adorned with three seals set in gold, and an opal ring. He
viewed each of them with great eagerness, handled the chain, admired the
chased case, and observed that the whole must have cost me a vast