i,
Ferio, Baralipton, etc.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Those words are too ugly. This logic doesn't
suit me at all. Let's learn something else that's prettier.

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Would you like to learn morality?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Morality?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Yes.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What does it say, this morality?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: It treats of happiness, teaches men to moderate
their passions, and...

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No, let's leave that. I'm as choleric as all the
devils and there's no morality that sticks, I want to be as full of
anger as I want whenever I like.

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Would you like to learn physics?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What's it about, this physics?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Physics explains the principles of natural
things and the properties of the material world; it discourses on
the nature of the elements, of metals, minerals, of stones, of
plants and animals, and teaches the causes of all the meteors, the
rainbow, the will o' the wisps, the comets, lightning, thunder,
thunderbolts, rain, snow, hail, winds, and whirlwinds.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: There's too much commotion in it, too much
confusion.

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Then what do you want me to teach you?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Teach me how to spell.

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Very gladly.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Afterwards, you may teach me the almanack, to
know when there is a moon and when not.

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: So be it. Following your thought and treating
this matter as a philosopher, it is necessary to begin according to
the order of things, by an exact knowledge of the nature of letters
and the different ways of pronouncing them all. And thereupon I
must tell you letters are divided into vowels, called vowels
because they express the voice; and into consonants because they
sound with the vowels and only mark the diverse articulations of
the voice. There are five vowels or voices: A, E, I, O, U.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I understand all that.

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The vowel A is formed by opening the mouth
widely: A. Its vowels are to be given the sounds used in
vocalizing: Ah-aye-ee-o-ou.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: A, A. Yes.

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The vowel E is formed by approaching the lower
jaw to the upper: A, E.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: A, E; A, E. By my faith, yes. Ah! How fine!
PHILOSOPHY MASTER: And the vowel I, by bringing the jaws still
nearer each other and stretching the two corners of the mouth
towards the ears: A, E, I.

MONSIEUR JOUR