HILOSOPHY MASTER: Do you want only prose?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No, I don't want either prose or verse.

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: It must be one or the other.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Why?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Because, sir, there is no other way to express
oneself than with prose or verse.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: There is nothing but prose or verse?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: No, sir, everything that is not prose is verse,
and everything that is not verse is prose.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: And when one speaks, what is that then?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Prose.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What! When I say, "Nicole, bring me my slippers,
and give me my nightcap," that's prose?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Yes, Sir.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: By my faith! For more than forty years I have
been speaking prose without knowing anything about it, and I am
much obliged to you for having taught me that. I would like then to
put into a note to her: "Beautiful marchioness, your lovely eyes
make me die of love," but I want that put in a gallant manner and
be nicely turned.

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Put it that the fires of her eyes reduce your
heart to cinders; that you suffer night and day for her the
torments of a...

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No, no, no. I want none of that; I only want you
to say "Beautiful marchioness, your lovely eyes make me die of
love."

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The thing requires a little lengthening.

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No, I tell you, I want only those words in the
note, but turned stylishly, well arranged, as is necessary. Please
tell me, just to see, the diverse ways they could be put.

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: One could put them first of all as you said
them: "Beautiful marchioness, your lovely eyes make me die of
love." Or else: "Of love to die make me, beautiful marchioness,
your beautiful eyes." Or else: "Your lovely eyes, of love make me,
beautiful marchioness, die." Or else: "Die, your lovely eyes,
beautiful marchioness, of love make me." Or else: "Me make your
lovely eyes die, beautiful marchioness, of love."

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: But, of all those ways, which is the best?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The way you said it: "Beautiful marchioness,
your lovely eyes make me die of love."

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I never studied, and yet I made the whole thing
up at the first try. I thank you with all my heart, and I ask you
to come tomorrow early.

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: I shall not fail to do so. (He leaves).

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What? Hasn't my suit come yet?

THE LACKEY