in the vulgar tongue a Contractor, undertakes to fill it up, and to lay
a double line of rails, with sidings, across it in a fortnight."

"Truly, we live in strange times, neighbour," said Scrapegrace. "But
then the HILL OF DIFFICULTY?"

"Is no difficulty after all," interrupted Stagman; "we pass right
through the centre of it by a tunnel in two minutes, so that you need
never know there was a hill there. The strata are all clay and
sandstone, exceeding well fitted for boring."

"Then the VALLEY OF HUMILIATION, and the road which leads
there-through?" asked Scapegrace.

"We go slap across it in the twinkling of a bedpost, by a handsome
viaduct of thirty arches on the skew principle," said Stagman.

"Lo, you now!" said Scapegrace, marvelling--"Surely, however, the road
is rugged and hilly?"

"Thou wouldst say, the gradients are bad; not so, there is none worse
than one in the hundred--quite as good as the Caledonian."

"I know not that road," said Scrapegrace.

"So much the better for thee," answered Stagman gravely.

"But, neighbour, how do you contrive to carry your road through other
men's grounds?" said Scapegrace.

"We promise to share the profits with them," said Stagman, "and so keep
them quiet; or put them on the Provisional Committee, with power to
audit their own accounts. Sometimes, no doubt, we are put to our shifts
for a time, as was the case with Squire Despair of Doubting Castle, who
opposed us on the standing orders, and threatened to throw us out in
committee; but, as it ended in our buying Doubting Castle at his own
price, and paying him handsomely for intersectional damage besides, he
soon withdrew his opposition, and is now an active promoter of the line.
Indeed, I know not any one who can give us further trouble, except it be
old Pope, who says the road will ruin his villa, and be the death of any
of his bulls that get upon the line; but as we know that he is as poor
as a church rat, and will never show face in the committee, we mind him
not, and, in truth, I have no doubt the committee will find the preamble
proved."

"Find what?" enquired Scapegrace;--"methinks, Stagman, thou dealest in
strange words, and usest a jargon hard to be understood of men."

"Find the preamble proved," answered Stagman; "which means we shall be
empowered to make the road."

"I suppose then, neighbour," said Scapegrace, "there will be great
resort of travellers to this same CENT-PER-CENT, and much toll lev