, the contents of "The Metaphysician" are as follows: A
father, who had heard that children were sent beyond sea to be educated,
and that those so reared were more respected than those brought up at
home, determined, being wealthy, to send his son thither. The son,
despite his studies, from being stupid when he went, returned more
stupid than before, having fallen into the clutches of educational
quacks, of whom there is no lack. Aforetime, he had babbled stupidities
simply, but now he began to expound such things in learned wise;
aforetime, only the stupid had failed to understand him, now he was
beyond the comprehension of the wise. The whole house, and town, and
world were bored to death with his chatter. He was possessed with a
mania for searching out the cause of everything. With his wits thus
woolgathering as he walked, he one day suddenly tumbled into a pit. His
father, who chanced to be with him, rushed off to get a rope, wherewith
to drag out "his household wisdom." Meanwhile, his thoughtful child, as
he sat in the pit, reasoned with himself as to what might be the cause
of his fall, and came to the conclusion that it was an earthquake; also,
that his sudden flight into the pit might create an atmospheric
pressure, from the earth and the pit, which would wipe out the seven
planets. The father rushed up with a rope. "Here's a rope for you," says
he, "catch hold of it. I'll drag you out; look out that you don't fall
off!" "No, wait; don't pull me out yet; tell me first, what sort of a
thing is a rope?" "Although the father was not learned, he was gifted by
nature with common sense," winds up the fable.

Another, called "The Skinflint," runs thus:

"There was once a Skinflint, who had a vast amount of money.
And, as he was wont to say, he had grown rich,
Not by crooked deeds. Not by stealing or ruining men.
No, he took his oath to that: That God had sent all this wealth to
his house,
And that he feared not, in the least, to be convicted of injustice
towards his neighbor.
And to please the Lord for this, His mercy,
And to incline Him unto favors in time to come--
Or, possibly, just to soothe his conscience--
The Skinflint took it into his head to build a house for the poor.
The house was built, and almost finished. My Skinflint, gazing at it,
Beside himself with joy, cheers up and reasons with himself.
How great a service he to the poor hath