her cheeks, Jack! so deeply blushing at
the insinuations of her tell-tale eyes! Then, Jack, her lips! Oh, Jack,
lips, smiling at their own discretion! and, if not smiling, more sweetly
pouting, more lovely in sullenness! Then, Jack, her neck! Oh! Jack!
Jack!

CAPT. A. And which is to be mine, sir; the niece, or the aunt?

SIR A. Why, you unfeeling, insensible puppy, I despise you! When I was
of your age, such a description would have made me fly like a rocket!
The aunt, indeed! Odds life! when I ran away with your mother, I would
not have touched anything old or ugly to gain an empire.

CAPT. A. Not to please your father, sir?

SIR A. To please my father--zounds! not to please--Oh! my father? Oddso!
yes, yes! if my father, indeed, had desired--that's quite another
matter. Though he wasn't the indulgent father that I am, Jack.

CAPT. A. I dare say not, sir.

SIR A. But, Jack, you are not sorry to find your mistress is so
beautiful?

CAPT. A. Sir, I repeat it, if I please you in this affair, 'tis all I
desire. Not that I think a woman the worse for being handsome; but, sir,
if you please to recollect, you before hinted something about a hump or
two, one eye, and a few more graces of that kind. Now, without being
very nice, I own I should rather choose a wife of mine to have the usual
number of limbs, and a limited quantity of back; and though one eye may
be very agreeable, yet, as the prejudice has always run in favor of two,
I would not wish to affect a singularity in that article.

SIR A. What a phlegmatic sot it is! Why, sirrah, you are an anchorite! a
vile, insensible stock! You a soldier! you're a walking block, fit only
to dust the company's regimentals on! Odds life, I've a great mind to
marry the girl myself!

CAPT. A. I am entirely at your disposal, sir; if you should think of
addressing Miss Languish yourself, I suppose you would have me marry the
aunt; or if you should change your mind, and take the old lady, 'tis the
same to me--I'll marry the niece.

SIR A. Upon my word, Jack, thou art either a very great hypocrite,
or--but, come, I know your indifference on such a subject must be all a
lie--I'm sure it must. Come, now, off with your demure face; come,
confess, Jack, you have been lying, ha'nt you? You have been playing the
hypocrite, hey? I'll never forgive you, if you ha'nt been lying and
playing the hypocrite.

CAPT. A. I am sorry, sir, that the respect and duty which I bear to you,
should be