le;
Thereto a singing chambermaid,
Benignant heavy pa,
And oh, heavier still was the heavier vill-
Ain, with his fierce "Ha! Ha!"

There wasn't an author from Shakespeare down--
Or up--to Boucicault,
These amateurs weren't competent
To collar and assault.
And when the winter time came round--
"Season" 's a stagier phrase--
The Am. Dram. Ass. assaulted one
Of the Bard of Avon's plays.

'Twas _As You Like It_ that they chose;
For the leading lady's heart
Was set on playing _Rosalind_
Or some other page's part,
And the President of the Am. Dram. Ass.,
A stalwart dry-goods clerk,
Was cast for _Oriando_, in which _role_
He felt he'd make his mark.

"I mind me," said the President,
(All thoughtful was his face,)
"When _Oriando_ was taken by Thingummy
That _Charles_ was played by Mace.
_Charles_ hath not many lines to speak,
Nay, not a single length--
If find we can a Mussulman
(That is, a man of strength),
And bring him on the stage as _Charles_--
But, alas, it can't be did--"
"It can," replied the Treasurer;
"Let's get the Hunky Kid."

This Hunky Kid of whom he spoke
Belonged to the P.R.;
He always had his hair cut short,
And always had catarrh;
His voice was gruff, his language rough,
His forehead villainous low,
And 'neath his broken nose a vast
Expanse of jaw did show.
He was forty-eight about the chest,
And his fore-arm at the mid-
Dle measured twenty-one and a-half--
Such was the Hunky Kid!

The Am. Dram. Ass. they have engaged
This pet of the P.R.;
As _Charles the Wrestler_ he's to be
A bright particular star.
And when they put the programme out,
Announce him thus they did:
_Oriando_...Mr. ROMEO JONES;
_Charles_...Mr. HUNKY KID.

The night has come; the house is packed,
From pit to gallery,
As those who through the curtain peep
Quake inwardly to see.
A squeak's heard in the orchestra,
As the leader draws across
Th' intestines of the agile cat
The tail of the no