ble hoss.

All is at sea behind the scenes,
Why do they fear and funk?
Alas, alas, the Hunky Kid
Is lamentably drunk!
He's in that most unlovely stage
Of half intoxication
When men resent the hint they're tight
As a personal imputation!

"Ring up! Ring up!" _Orlando_ cried,
"Or we must cut the scene;
For _Charles the Wrestler_ is imbued
With poisonous benzine;
And every moment gets more drunk
Than he before has been."

The wrestling scene has come and _Charles_
Is much disguised in drink;
The stage to him's an inclined plane,
The footlights make him blink.
Still strives he to act well his part
Where all the honour lies,
Though Shakespeare would not in his lines--
His language recognise.
Instead of "Come, where is this young----?"
This man of bone and brawn,
He squares himself and bellows: "Time!
Fetch your _Orlandos_ on!"

"Now, Hercules be thy speed, young man,"
Fair _Rosalind_ said she,
As the two wrestlers in the ring
Grapple right furiously;
But _Charles the Wrestler_ had no sense
Of dramatic propriety.

He seized on Mr. Romeo Jones,
In Graeco-Roman style:
He got what they call a grape-vine lock
On that leading juvenile;
He flung him into the orchestra,
And the man with the ophicleide,
On whom he fell, he just said--well,
No matter what--and died!

When once the tiger has tasted blood
And found that it is sweet,
He has a habit of killing more
Than he can possibly eat.

And thus it was with the Hunky Kid;
In his homicidal blindness,
He lifted his hand against _Rosalind_
Not in the way of kindness;
He chased poor _Celia_ off at L.,
At R.U.E. _Le Beau_,
And he put such a head upon _Duke Fred_,
In fifteen seconds or so,
That never one of the courtly train
Might his haughty master know.

* * * * *

And that's precisely what came to pass,
Because the luckless carles
Belonging to the Am. Dram. Ass.
Cast the Hunky Kid for _Charles!_