e snails?'

"So I sits me down by her buteful side--
She'd a face like a sunset sky;
Her hair was a sort of a scarlety red,
And her knoze was strait as a die.

"I hadn't sot a minit wen sez she to me,
'Sammy, don't yer know me agane?
Why, I'm the wife arter wot yer call'd yer ship;
Sure enuf, it _was_ Craizy Jane--

"The wife as had bother'd me all my life,
Until she got drown'd one day,
When a-bathin' out o' one of them there masheens
In this wery same Margit Bay.

"The Sarpint was a-havin' of his dinner, and so
She perposed as how we should fly--
But, sez I to meself, 'What, take _you_ back?
Not if I knose it,' sez I.

"'But how about them there tails?' I sez--
'On shore _them_ will niver doo;'
She sez, 'Yer silly, why, karn't yer see,
They're only fixed on wi' a screw?'

"So I tells her as how I'll go fetch the old ship
Wile she's a-unscreuing of her tails;
But when I gets back to the _Crazy Jane_
I finds there a couple of wales.

"I jist had time to see the biggest of the two
A-swallerin' of the ship right whole,
And in one more momint he swallered me too,
As true as I'm a livin' sole.

"But when he got to the surfis of the sea,
A summat disagreed with that wale,
And he up with me and the _Crazy Jane_ and all--
And this 'ere's the end of my tail."

* * * * *

Then this old ainshunt mariner, he sez unto me--
And 'onesty was shinin' in hiz eyes--
"_It's jist the sort o' story wot no one won't beleeve--
But it's true, little nipper, if I dies_,"

THE AMATEUR ORLANDO.

BY GEORGE T. LANIGAN.

It was an Amateur Dram. Ass.,
(Kind hearer, although your
Knowledge of French is not first-class,
Don't call that Amature.)
It was an Amateur Dram. Ass.,
The which did warfare wage
On the dramatic works of this
And every other age.

It had a walking gentleman,
A leading juvenile,
First lady in book-muslin dressed.
With a galvanic smi