ot to this
side of the river so's it would rest somewhere on the burning deck,
and maybe he might reconstruct the factory chimney, or whatever it
was, and make it the captain, while he could arrange the guinea-pig
to do for the captain's dog."

"Did he agree?"

"He said the idea didn't strike him. So then I suggested that he
might turn it into Columbus discovering America. Let George stand for
Columbus, and the tree be turned into a native, and the hatchet made
to answer for a flag, while the mountain in the background would
answer for the rolling billows of the ocean. He said he'd be hanged
if it should. So I mentioned that it might perhaps pass for the
execution of Mary Queen of Scots. Put George in black for the
headsman, bend over the tree and put a frock on it for Mary, let the
hatchet stand, and work in the guinea-pig and the factory chimney as
mourners. Just as I had got the words out of my mouth, Barker knocked
me clean through the picture. My head tore out Washington's near leg,
and my right foot carried away about four miles of the river. We had
it over and over on the floor for a while, and finally Barker
whipped. I am going to take the law of him in the interests of
justice and high art."

So Barker was bound over, and Mr. Potts went down to the office of
the _Spy_ to write up his criticism.

THE WOODEN LEG.

BY MAX ADELER.

"Mr. Brown, you don't want to buy a first-rate wooden leg, do you?
I've got one that I've been wearing for two or three years, and I
want to sell it. I'm hard up for money; and although I'm attached to
that leg, I'm willing to part with it, so's I kin get the necessaries
of life. Legs are all well enough; they are handy to have around the
house, and all that; but a man must attend to his stomach, if he has
to walk about on the small of his back. Now, I'm going to make you an
offer. That leg is Fairchild's patent; steel-springs, india-rubber
joints, elastic toes and everything, and it's in better order now
than it was when I bought it. It'd be a comfort to any man. It's the
most luxurious leg I ever came across. If bliss ever kin be reached
by a man this side of the tomb, it belongs to the person that gets
that leg on and feels the consciousness creeping over his soul that
it is his. Consequently, I say that when I offer it to you I'm doing
a personal favour; and I think I see you jump at the chance, and want
to clinch the bargain before I mention--you'll hardly believe i