once
electrified by a sudden stroke of the wooden sword across his shoulders.
Little did I think at such times that it would ever fall to my lot to be
treated with equal discourtesy, and that while I was quietly beholding
these grave philosophers emulating the eccentric transformations of the
hero of pantomime, they would on a sudden turn upon me and my readers, and
with one hypocritical flourish metamorphose us into beasts! I determined
from that moment not to burn my fingers with any more of their theories,
but content myself with detailing the different methods by which they
transported the descendants of these ancient and respectable monkeys to
this great field of theoretical warfare.

This was done either by migrations by land or transmigrations by water.
Thus Padre Joseph d'Acosta enumerates three passages by land, first by the
north of Europe, secondly by the north of Asia, and, thirdly, by regions
southward of the Straits of Magellan. The learned Grotius marches his
Norwegians by a pleasant route across frozen rivers and arms of the sea,
through Iceland, Greenland, Estotiland, and Naremberga; and various
writers, among whom are Angleria, De Hornn, and Buffon, anxious for the
accommodation of these travelers, have fastened the two continents
together by a strong chain of deductions--by which means they could pass
over dry-shod. But should even this fail, Pinkerton, that industrious old
gentleman, who compiles books and manufactures geographies, has
constructed a natural bridge of ice, from continent to continent, at the
distance of four or five miles from Behring's Straits-for which he is
entitled to the grateful thanks of all the wandering aborigines who ever
did or ever will pass over it.

It is an evil much to be lamented that none of the worthy writers above
quoted could ever commence his work without immediately declaring
hostilities against every writer who had treated of the same subject. In
this particular authors may be compared to a certain sagacious bird,
which, in building its nest is sure to pull to pieces the nests of all
the birds in its neighborhood. This unhappy propensity tends grievously to
impede the progress of sound knowledge. Theories are at best but brittle
productions, and when once committed to the stream, they should take care
that, like the notable pots which were fellow-voyagers, they do not crack
each other.

My chief surprise is, that among the many writers I have noticed, no one