us poop.

The architect, who was somewhat of a religious man, far from decorating
the ship with pagan idols, such as Jupiter, Neptune or Hercules, which
heathenish abominations, I have no doubt, occasion the misfortunes and
shipwreck of many a noble vessel, he I say, on the contrary, did laudably
erect for a head, a goodly image of St. Nicholas, equipped with a low,
broad-brimmed hat, a huge pair of Flemish trunk hose, and a pipe that
reached to the end of the bow-sprit. Thus gallantly furnished, the staunch
ship floated sideways, like a majestic goose, out of the harbor of the
great city of Amsterdam, and all the bells that were not otherwise
engaged, rung a triple bobmajor on the joyful occasion.

My great-great-grandfather remarks, that the voyage was uncommonly
prosperous, for, being under the especial care of the ever-revered St.
Nicholas, the Goede Vrouw seemed to be endowed with qualities unknown to
common vessels. Thus she made as much leeway as headway, could get along
very nearly as fast with the wind a head as when it was a-poop, and was
particularly great in a calm; in consequence of which singular advantage
she made out to accomplish her voyage in a very few months, and came to
anchor at the mouth of the Hudson, a little to the east of Gibbet Island.

Here lifting up their eyes they beheld, on what is at present called the
Jersey shore, a small Indian village, pleasantly embowered in a grove of
spreading elms, and the natives all collected on the beach, gazing in
stupid admiration at the Goede Vrouw. A boat was immediately dispatched to
enter into a treaty with them, and, approaching the shore, hailed them
through a trumpet in the most friendly terms; but so horribly confounded
were these poor savages at the tremendous and uncouth sound of the Low
Dutch language that they one and all took to their heels, and scampered
over the Bergen Hills: nor did they stop until they had buried themselves,
head and ears, in the marshes on the other side, where they all miserably
perished to a man; and their bones being collected and decently covered by
the Tammany Society of that day, formed that singular mound called
Rattlesnake Hill, which rises out of the center of the salt marshes a
little to the east of the Newark Causeway.

Animated by this unlooked-for victory, our valiant heroes sprang ashore in
triumph, took possession of the soil as conquerors, in the name of their
High Mightinesses the Lords States General; a