merciful, will pity a sinful soul,
"Arise," they say, "for you know full well who waits at the outer gate,
With sheriffs to do his bidding, behold he is come in state.
The time is short, and the minutes fly, but ere we forget it, stay,
We must introduce the Ambassador in a semi-official way."

* * * * *

POLITE JUDGMENT.--A correspondence has been going on in the _St.
James's Gazette_ as to what six Gentlemen seated in a first class
railway carriage ought to do if a Lady insists on thrusting herself
upon them. _Truth_ says, let her stand, unless she has been invited,
and adds, that anyhow she, as an extra person, is a nuisance. _Mr.
Punch_ agrees with a difference, and says that the uninvited intruder
who becomes a standing nuisance ought to be put down--by somebody
giving her a seat.

* * * * *

COMPENSATION.

(_SOLILOQUY OF SMELFUNGUS WHILST LOOKING AT THE PICTORIAL PAPERS._)

Yes, it's an ill-wind that blows nobody good,
Discomfort could hardly be greater,
For home-staying fogies of mollyish mood,
But think of the joy of the Skater!
Gr-r-r-r-! Nose-nipped antiquity squirms in the street,
When the North-Easter sounds its fierce slogan;
But oh, the warm flush and the ecstasy fleet
Of the fellow who rides a toboggan!
FISH SMART's on the job in the ice-covered fens,
And at Hampstead and Highgate they're "sleighing."
There is plenty of stuff for pictorial pens,
And boyhood at snowballs is playing.
To sit by the fire and to grumble and croak
At "young fools," I presume is improper,
Yet (_chuckle_!) the Skater _sometimes_ has a "soak,"
The Sleigher _sometimes_ comes a cropper! [_Left sniggering._

* * * * *

LOST IN THE MIST OF AGES.

(_EXTRACTS FROM A CRITIQUE ON AN EXHIBITION TO SUCCEED THE GUELPHIAN,
IN_ 19--.)

_No_. 76. _Portrait of a Warrior_. This picture is described in the
Catalogue as the Duke of WELLINGTON, who, it will be remembered, won,
in the early part of the last century, the Battle of Waterloo, and
invented a new kind of boots. The face is adorned with long black
whiskers and moustaches, and an eyeglass not unlike the traditional
portrait of the great W.E. GLADSTONE, Second Earl of BEACONSFIELD, as
depicted by a now nearly forgotten artist, called DUNDREARY SOTHERN,
or SOTHERN DUNDREARY. The Duke (if, indeed, it be the Duke) is wearing
the u