katers being irritable
and impatient, and others curiously the reverse, at any delay
in the operation_.

_Chorus of Unemployed Skate-Fasteners_. 'Oo'll 'ave a pair on for
an hour? Good Sport to-day, Sir! Try a pair on, Mum! (_to any
particularly stout Lady_). Will yer walk inter _my_ porler, Sir?
corpet all the w'y! 'Ad the pleasure o' puttin' on your skites last
year, Miss! Best skates in London, Sir!

[_Exhibiting a primaeval pair._

_The Usual Comic Cockney_ (_to his Friend, who has undertaken to
instruct him_). No _'urry_, old man--this joker ain't _'arf_ finished
with me yet! [_To Skate-Fastener._] Easy with that jimlet, Guv'nor. My
'eel ain't 'orn, like a 'orse's 'oof! If you're goin' to strap me up
as toight as all that, I shell 'ave to go to _bed_ in them skites!...
Well, what is it _now_?

[Illustration: "Look here! This is rather a pretty figure."]

_Skate-Fastener_. Reglar thing fur Gen'lm'n as 'ires skates ter leave
somethink be'ind, jest as security like--_anythink_'ll do--a gold
watch and chain, if yer got sech a thing about yer!

_The C.C._ Oh, I dessay--not _me_!

_Skate-F._ (_wounded_). Why, yer needn't be afroid! _I_ shorn't run
away--you'll find _me_ 'ere when yer come back!

_The C.C._ Ah, that _will_ be noice! But all the sime, a watch is a
thing as slips out of mind so easy, yer know. You might go and forgit
all about it. 'Ere's a match-box instead; it ain't silver!

_Skate-F._ (_with respect_). Ah, you _do_ know the world, _you_ do!

_The C.C._ Now, ALF, old man. I'm ready for yer! Give us 'old of yer
'and ... Go slow now. What's the Vestry about not to put some gravel
down 'ere? It's downright dangerous! Whoo-up! Blowed if I ain't got
some other party's legs on!... Sloide more? Whadjer torking about! I'm
sloidin' every way at once, _I_ am!... Stroike out? I've struck sparks
enough out of the back o'my 'ed, if that's all!... Git up? Ketch me!
I'm a deal syfer settin' dayown, and I'll sty 'ere! [_He stays._

_A Nervous Skater_ (_hobbling cautiously down the bank--to Friend_).
I--I don't know how I shall _be_ in these, you know--haven't had
a pair on for years. (_Striking out._) Well, come--(_relieved_)--
skating's one of those things you never forget--all a question of
poise and equi--confound the things! No, I'm all right, thanks--lump
in the ice, that's all! As I was saying, skating soon comes back
to--thought I was gone that time! Stick by me, old fellow, till I
begin t