by turns, thou would have been ready
to split thy ugly face just in the middle. Thy mouth hath already done
half the work. And, after all, I found not seldom in this conversation,
that my humourous undaunted airs forced a smile into my service from the
prim mouths of the young ladies. They perhaps, had they met with such
another intrepid fellow as myself, who had first gained upon their
affections, would not have made such a rout as my beloved has done, about
such an affair as that we were assembled upon. Young ladies, as I have
observed on an hundred occasions, fear not half so much for themselves
as their mothers do for them. But here the girls were forced to put on
grave airs, and to seem angry, because the antiques made the matter of
such high importance. Yet so lightly sat anger and fellow-feeling at
their hearts, that they were forced to purse in their mouths, to
suppress the smiles I now-and-then laid out for: while the elders
having had roses (that is to say, daughters) of their own, and knowing
how fond men are of a trifle, would have been very loth to have had
them nipt in the bud, without saying to the mother of them, By your
leave, Mrs. Rose-bush.

The next article of my indictment was for forgery; and for personating
of Lady Betty and my cousin Charlotte.

Two shocking charges, thou'lt say: and so they were!--The Peer was
outrageous upon the forgery charge. The Ladies vowed never to forgive
the personating part.

Not a peace-maker among them. So we all turned women, and scolded.

My Lord told me, that he believed in his conscience there was not a
viler fellow upon God's earth than me.--What signifies mincing the
matter? said he--and that it was not the first time I had forged his
hand.

To this I answered, that I supposed, when the statute of Scandalum
Magnatum was framed, there were a good many in the peerage who knew
they deserved hard names; and that that law therefore was rather made
to privilege their qualities, than to whiten their characters.

He called upon me to explain myself, with a Sir-r, so pronounced, as to
show that one of the most ignominious words in our language was in his
head.

People, I said, that were fenced in by their quality, and by their
years, should not take freedoms that a man of spirit could not put up
with, unless he were able heartily to despise the insulter.

This set him in a violent passion. He would send for Pritchard
instantly. Let Pritchard be called