Bell's Messenger at second
hand from a neighbour, who has it from his cousin in the Borough,
who, I believe, is the last reader of a club of fourteen, who take
it among them; and, being last, as I observed, sir, he has the paper
to himself into the bargain.--Please exalt your chin, sir, and keep
your head a little to one side--there, sir," added Toby, cammencing
his operations with the brush, and hoarifying my barbal extremity,
as the facetious Thomas Hood would probably express it. "Now, sir--a
_leetle_ more round, if you please--there, sir, there. It is
a most entertaining paper, and beats all for news. In fact, it is
full of every thing, sir--every, every thing--accidents--charity
sermons--markets--boxing--Bible societies--horse racing--child
murders--the theatres--foreign wars--Bow-street
reports--electioneering--and Day and Martin's blacking."

"Are you a bit of a bruiser, Mr. Tims?"

"Oh, bless your heart, sir, only a _leetle_--a very _leetle_.
A turn-up with the gloves, or so, your honour. I'm but a light
weight--only a light weight--seven stone and a half, sir; but a rare bit
of stuff, though I say it myself, sir--Begging your pardon. I dare say I
have put some of the soap into your mouth. Now, sir, now--please let me
hold your nose, sir."

"Scarcely civil, Mr. Toby," said I, "scarcely civil--Phroo! let me spit
out the suds."

"I will be done in a moment, sir--in half a moment. Well, sir, speaking
of razors, they should be always properly tempered with hot water, a
_leetle_ dip more or less. You see now how it glides over, smooth
and smack as your hand.--Keep still, sir; I might have given you a nick
just now. You don't choose a _leetle_ of the mustachy left?"

"No, no--off with it all. No matrimonial news stirring in this quarter
just now, Mr. Tims?"

"Nothing extremely particular.--Now, sir, you are fit for the king's
levee, so far as my department is concerned. But you cannot go out just
now, sir--see how it rains--a perfect water-spout. Just feel yourself at
home, sir, for a _leetle_, and take a peep around you. That block,
sir, has been very much admired--extremely like the Wenus de
Medicine--capital nose--and as for the wig department, catch me for
that, sir. But of all them there pictures hanging around, yon is the
favourite of myself and the connessoors."

"Ay, Mr. Tims," said I, "that is truly a gem--an old lover kneeling at
the foot of his young sweetheart, and two fellows in buckram taking a