I, in conclusion, 'don't you see the confounded
absurdity of ever wasting a thought on a broken-down, bandy-legged,
beggarly dragoon? Just look at him, with an old taffeta whigmaleerie
tied to his back, like Paddy from Cork, with his coat buttoned behind!
Isn't he a pretty figure, now, to go a-courting? You would never forsake
the like of me--would you now? A spruce, natty little body of a
creature--to be the trollop of a spindle-shanked veteran, who, besides
having one foot in the grave, and a nose fit for three, might be your
great-grandfather?'

"It was a sight, sir, that would have melted the heart of a
wheel-barrow. Before the whole assembled exhibition-room, Lucy first
looked blue, and then blushed consent. 'Toby,' said she, 'don't mention
it, Toby, dear,--I am thine for ever and a day!' Angelic sounds, which
at once sent Bottlenose to Coventry. His chance was now weak indeed,
quite like Grantham gruel, three groats to a gallon of water. In an
ecstacy of passion, sir, I threw my silk handkerchief on the floor, and,
kneeling on it with one knee, I raised her gloveless fingers to my lips!

"The whole company clapped their hands, and laughed so heartily in
sympathy with my good luck! Oh! sir, had you but seen it--what a sight
for sore eyes that was!"

"Then you would indeed be the happy man at last, Mr. Tims," said I. "Did
you elope on the instant?"

"Just done, please your honour.--Next morning, according to special
agreement, we eloped in a gig; and, writing a penitent letter from the
Valentine and Orson at Chelsea, Daddy Mainspring found himself glad to
come to terms. Thrice were the banns published; and such a marriage as
we had! 'Pon honour, sir, I would you had been present. It was a thing
to be remembered till the end of one's life. A deputation of the
honourable the corporation of barbers duly attended, puffed out in full
fig; and even the old quartermaster, pocketing his disappointment, was,
at his own special petition, a forgiven and favoured guest. Seldom has
such dancing been seen within the bounds of London; and, with two
fiddles, a tambourin, and a clarionet, we made all the roofs ring, till
an early hour next morning--and that we did."

"You are a lucky fellow, Mr. Tims," said I.

"And more than that, sir. When old Mainspring kicks, we are to have the
counting of his mouldy coppers--so we have the devil's luck and our own;
and as for false curls, braids, bandeaux, Macassar oil, cold cream,
bear