last rid of her
impertinent bold way of talk, when she seems to think, from his letter,
that he means honourably.
I am now come to MONDAY, the 5th Day of my Bondage and Misery.
I was in hope to have an opportunity to see John, and have a little
private talk with him, before he went away; but it could not be. The
poor man's excessive sorrow made Mrs. Jewkes take it into her head, to
think he loved me; and so she brought up a message to me from him this
morning that he was going. I desired he might come up to my closet, as I
called it, and she came with him. The honest man, as I thought him,
was as full of concern as before, at taking leave and I gave him two
letters, the one for Mrs. Jervis, enclosed in another for my master: but
Mrs. Jewkes would see me seal them up, lest I should enclose any thing
else.--I was surprised, at the man's going away, to see him drop a bit
of paper, just at the head of the stairs, which I took up without being
observed by Mrs. Jewkes: but I was a thousand times more surprised, when
I returned to my closet, and opening it read as follows:
'GOOD MRS. PAMELA,
'I am grieved to tell you how much you have been deceived and betrayed,
and that by such a vile dog as I. Little did I think it would come to
this. But I must say, if ever there was a rogue in the world, it is me.
I have all along shewed your letters to my master: He employed me for
that purpose; and he saw every one, before I carried them to your father
and mother; and then scaled them up, and sent me with them. I had some
business that way, but not half so often as I pretended: and as soon
as I heard how it was, I was ready to hang myself. You may well think I
could not stand in your presence. O vile, vile wretch, to bring you to
this! If you are ruined, I am the rogue that caused it. All the justice
I can do you, is to tell you, you are in vile hands; and I am afraid
will be undone in spite of all your sweet innocence; and I believe
I shall never live, after I know it. If you can forgive me, you are
exceeding good; but I shall never forgive myself, that's certain.
Howsomever, it will do you no good to make this known; and may-hap I
may live to do you service. If I can, I will: I am sure I ought.--Master
kept your last two or three letters, and did not send them at all. I am
the most abandoned wretch of wretches. 'J. ARNOLD.'
'You see your undoing has been long hatching. Pray take care of your
sweet self. Mrs. Jewkes is a
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