p all our opportunities; telling him the money trick of this vile
woman, etc.
I had not time to take a copy of this letter, I was so watched. And when
I had it ready in my bosom, I was easy. And so I went to seek out Mrs.
Jewkes, and told her, I would have her advice upon the letter I had
received from my master; which point of confidence in her pleased her
not a little. Ay, said she, now this is something like: and we'll take a
turn in the garden, or where you please. I pretended it was indifferent
to me; and so we walked into the garden. I began to talk to her of the
letter; but was far from acquainting her with all the contents; only
that he wanted my consent to come down, and hoped she used me kindly,
and the like. And I said, Now, Mrs. Jewkes, let me have your advice as
to this. Why then, said she, I will give it you freely; E'en send to him
to come down. It will highly oblige him, and I dare say you'll fare the
better for it. How the better? said I.--I dare say, you think yourself,
that he intends my ruin. I hate, said she, that foolish word, your
ruin!--Why, ne'er a lady in the land may live happier than you if you
will, or be more honourably used.
Well, Mrs. Jewkes, said I, I shall not, at this time, dispute with you
about the words ruin and honourable: for I find we have quite different
notions of both: But now I will speak plainer than ever I did. Do you
think he intends to make proposals to me as to a kept mistress, or kept
slave rather, or do you not?--Why, lambkin, said she, what dost thou
think thyself?--I fear, said I, he does. Well, said she, but if he does,
(for I know nothing of the matter, I assure you,) you may have your own
terms--I see that; for you may do any thing with him.
I could not bear this to be spoken, though it was all I feared of a long
time; and began to exclaim most sadly. Nay, said she, he may marry you,
as far as I know.--No, no, said I, that cannot be.--I neither desire
nor expect it. His condition don't permit me to have such a thought; and
that, and the whole series of his conduct, convinces me of the contrary;
and you would have me invite him to come down, would you? Is not this to
invite my ruin?
'Tis what I would do, said she, in your place; and if it was to be as
you think, I should rather be out of my pain, than live in continual
frights and apprehensions, as you do. No, replied I, an hour of
innocence is worth an age of guilt; and were my life to be made ever
so mise
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