n the sack and count out the money to the principal citizens
of your town, they to take it in trust (Cries of "Oh! Oh! Oh!"), and
use it in such ways as to them shall seem best for the propagation and
preservation of your community's noble reputation for incorruptible
honesty (more cries)--a reputation to which their names and their
efforts will add a new and far-reaching lustre." (Enthusiastic outburst
of sarcastic applause.) That seems to be all. No--here is a postscript:

"'P.S.--CITIZENS OF HADLEYBURG: There IS no test-remark--nobody made
one. (Great sensation.) There wasn't any pauper stranger, nor any
twenty-dollar contribution, nor any accompanying benediction and
compliment--these are all inventions. (General buzz and hum of
astonishment and delight.) Allow me to tell my story--it will take but a
word or two. I passed through your town at a certain time, and received
a deep offence which I had not earned. Any other man would have been
content to kill one or two of you and call it square, but to me that
would have been a trivial revenge, and inadequate; for the dead do not
SUFFER. Besides I could not kill you all--and, anyway, made as I am,
even that would not have satisfied me. I wanted to damage every man in
the place, and every woman--and not in their bodies or in their estate,
but in their vanity--the place where feeble and foolish people are most
vulnerable. So I disguised myself and came back and studied you. You
were easy game. You had an old and lofty reputation for honesty, and
naturally you were proud of it--it was your treasure of treasures, the
very apple of your eye. As soon as I found out that you carefully and
vigilantly kept yourselves and your children OUT OF TEMPTATION, I knew
how to proceed. Why, you simple creatures, the weakest of all weak
things is a virtue which has not been tested in the fire. I laid a plan,
and gathered a list of names. My project was to corrupt Hadleyburg the
Incorruptible. My idea was to make liars and thieves of nearly half a
hundred smirchless men and women who had never in their lives uttered a
lie or stolen a penny. I was afraid of Goodson. He was neither born
nor reared in Hadleyburg. I was afraid that if I started to operate
my scheme by getting my letter laid before you, you would say to
yourselves, 'Goodson is the only man among us who would give away twenty
dollars to a poor devil'--and then you might not bite at my bait. But
heaven took Goodson; then I knew I w