EACH morn some fresh repentance brings, you say?
Yes--but where leaves the vows of Yesterday?
For I shall make and break them all, again,
When Time hath taken _this_ Headache away.

WHAT if my conscience seem an idle joke--
My good resolves all disappear in smoke?
This thought remains--and is it not enough?--
_I do not wear the Matrimonial Yoke!_

NAY! There is no one waiting at the door,
Whene'er I wander in at half-past four,
No one to question, no one to accuse,
No one, my shocking frailty to deplore!

NO one to greet me with her tear-stained eyes,
No one to doubt my quaint, fantastic lies,
No one my foolish looks to criticize--
Ah, but the knots, the KNOTS in marriage-ties!

OH Friend, could you and I, somehow, conspire,
To grasp the Matrimonial Scheme entire,
Would we not shatter it to bits--and then,
Make of its bonds a rousing Funeral Pyre?

MYSELF, when young, did eagerly frequent
The weddings of my friends on Bondage bent;
But evermore thanked Fate, when I escaped
Scot-free, by that same door wherein I went.

INTO the fatal compact, why not knowing,
I've seen them go, nor dream where they were going;
Then out again, with shouts of "Westward, ho!"
The bitter seeds of _Alimony_ sowing!

AH well, they say that, sometimes, side by side,
A cat and dog may peacefully abide.
Perhaps--perhaps. But that is only when
That cat and dog are not together tied!

OFT, to some patient married man I turn,
The secret of his dumb content to learn,
But lip-to-ear, he mutters, "Fool, beware!
_This_ is the path, whence there is no return!"

[Illustration: BUT, LIP-TO-EAR, HE MUTTERS, "FOOL, BEWARE!"]

OH, threats of Hell, and hopes of Paradise!
One thing is certain--when a Husband dies,
No wife shall greet him _there_ with "Where's" or "Why's"
Nor mock with laughter his most subtle lies!

NO matter whether up or down he goes,
He neither cares nor questions, I suppose;
Since Death can hold no bitterness for him,
Because--because--Oh well, he knows, HE KNOWS!

W