such Persons to their Custom for Teas, China, and Trumpery.
And while a Story is telling of who's a going to be Married, who is
brought to Bed, or who has Miscarried, down goes the Cup and Saucer,
and the Tea all over her Ladyship's Petticoat; then do they _curse
their unlucky Hands_, and beg _ten thousand Pardons for the
Mischance_; and threaten to go to _India_, but they will match the
Set, so as not to be distinguish'd by the nicest Judgment. The whole
Suit of Clothes, perhaps, becomes the Perquisite of my Lady's Woman,
and the Set of China is not to be match'd in the Kingdom. The Dealers
soon get Intelligence of the Accident, from the _Person_ by whose
Hands it was done; and the Lady is teaz'd almost to death with People
shewing her new _Sets_, new _Patterns_, and what not: and as soon as
she has purchased, the Gossip, by whose dextrous Management the
Traffick was brought about, not only begs and gets the damaged Set of
China for herself, but moreover receives a Moiety out of the
Shopkeeper's Profit who sold the new Set; as well as Poundage from the
Mercer, for what he shall sell the Lady. I knew a Woman of Quality who
was so strangely pester'd with this kind of _Visitants_, that she
could never keep a clean Manteau to her Tail, nor a complete Set of
China to her Tea-Table; and yet continued so incredulous, as not to be
persuaded that there was any _Art_ and _Design_ in the _Disasters_
that so frequently happen'd to her.

How many great Ladies have had their Gown-Tails cut from their
Backsides at Balls and Operas, not so much for the sake of what Profit
could be made of them, as has been apparent, but for the promoting of
Trade and Commerce; and have return'd home in Jackets, like _Dutch_
Burgomasters Wives, to their Families?

The _Methods_ made use of to _Gripe_, _Surfeit_, _Cholick_, and
otherwise disorder the Bodies of Children, as well as _Persons_ of
riper Years, in order to render them due Objects of _Advice_ and
_Physick_, I believe are obvious enough to every ingenious Person who
is conversant with Families, and the Streets of _London_. What Person
is there, of common Humanity amongst us, but must look with the
utmost Grief and Concern upon that intolerable number of
_Wheel-barrows_, _Stands_, and _Benches_, which are so industriously
ranged and disposed thro' all the _Streets_, _Lanes_, and _Alleys_ of
the Town, retailing various Kinds of damaged and unwholesome Fruits to
the Passengers? all which manife