her. If she was a
girl, he has taken from her that which nothing on earth can restore;
he has made her into another being. He has been instrumental in making
her--this other human soul--accept responsibilities, and he is bound
as an honourable man to school himself so as to be able to help the
mutual happiness and peace of their dual existence. And if he wishes
to be obeyed, loved, and respected, he has to look to himself that he
inspires obedience, love, and respect in his mate. She will not
experience these feelings to order; and fear alone, or some other and
lower motive, would make her simulate them. Man must not forget that
nothing simulated can last. Truth alone remains at the end of the
year.

No marriage can be certain of continuing happy which has been entered
into in the spirit of taking a lottery ticket. But most marriages
could be fairly happy if both man and woman looked the thing squarely
in the face and made up their minds that they would run together in
harness as two well-trained carriage horses, both knowing of the pole,
both pulling at the collar and not over-straining the traces, both
taking pride in their high stepping and their unity of movement. How
much more dignified than to make a pitiful exhibition of
incompatibility like two wild creatures kicking and plunging, and
finally upsetting the vehicle they had agreed to draw?

I would like to discuss now the problem of whether or not marriage
could be made happy no matter how it starts, by using common sense,
but the deep interest of the whole subject has made my pen already
cover too much space and I must refrain in this chapter.

Only, men and women who read this, do not pass it by, but stop and
_think_ before you plunge, through the giving and the taking of a
wedding ring, into happiness or misery.

IV

AFTER MARRIAGE

Considering the instability of all our tastes and desires and the
almost total want of personal discipline which prevails in the present
day, it is really remarkable that the legal marriage goes on even as
well as it does!--but that the state could be much happier is patent
to any understanding, and it may be interesting to look at one or two
aspects of it, and see from whence comes the discord. A woman enters
into matrimony for various reasons, but, in the majority of cases in
England and America at least, it is because she is, or fancies she is,
in love with the man at the time. He, therefore, if this is so, start