n embracing development of moral sense, and religious
sense, and the force of custom) which keeps him from straying whenever
he feels inclined, and that all she can do to prevent it is to
redouble her own attractions, and to help the women of the future by
instilling into her own sons' minds the idea that, as marriage is _an
ideal and not a natural state_, the man who enters into it must be
prepared to school himself to live up to an ideal, and control his
vagrant emotions. To teach the boys a new and higher sense of honour
is the only possible way to alter matters, as a grown man is seldom
changed. In marriage, both partners must understand that they are
undertaking to do a most difficult thing in vowing to live together
and love for ever! Whichever cares the most will have to use
_intelligence_ to keep the other--and if it is the woman who is
unfortunate enough to occupy this position, she generally absolutely
sacrifices herself to gratify the man's smallest wish, and so makes
herself cheap. She should use her wits and keep a firm hand over
herself so as not to let herself become in his eyes of no importance.

Selfishness is another basic instinct of man, caused because he was
originally and unquestionably Lord of Creation, and only in the
countries where men are in the majority are the greater number of them
unselfish even now to woman. In England, where women are in the
majority, selfishness in every male child is fostered from his cradle.
So women must not indiscriminately condemn every man as being selfish,
as though it was his personal fault; they must look to the cause, and
condemn that if they want to, or, better still, try to eradicate it in
the future by influencing their own sons to desire to be chivalrous
and unselfish to the woman of the next generation. In this way they
would help to raise the standard of honour and responsibility in
humanity in general.

The most selfish man is not often selfish to the woman whom he is in
love with. While she excites these emotions, however he shows his
cloven hoof to the rest of the household, he will not show it to her.
And even when he ceases to be in love, if his wife has filled him with
respect and admiration for her, he will hardly dare to exhibit his bad
qualities. You will see a man with the most odious character showing
only the nicest ways to some particular person, when he wishes to
stand well with that person. Therefore, to deal successfully with a
selfish