no one to blame or praise for unhappiness or
happiness but the two individuals themselves. It is his fault--or
misfortune--if she no longer cares, and likewise hers in the parallel
case--and it is owing to the weakness of either if outside
circumstances have been able to interfere. Thus to ensure happiness
there must be a tremendous sense of personal responsibility, and there
should be understanding of life and understanding of nature instincts
and understanding of sex instincts; and a ruthless tearing away of the
false values which a Victorian age grafted upon religion, narrowing
the mind of woman as to man's needs--and narrowing man's conception of
woman's mental capacity.

No woman must ever forget in her relation to man that "he who pays the
piper calls the tune," and in this I am not only speaking literally of
shekels of gold and silver, but of the power incorporated in certain
personalities; and man, if he chose to exert it, has always _force
majeure_ at his command in the last extremity, although in these days
of Herculean young women he may lose even this in time!

Before undertaking to play that most difficult part of wife, every
girl ought to ask herself, Does she really care for the man enough to
make her use her intelligence to understand him, and to try to keep
him loving her? Or if she does not personally care enough for him to
trouble about this--will the situation of her husband in the world
satisfy her, and make the bondage, unleavened by love, of the care of
house, servants, and possible children, worth while?

Before undertaking the situation she ought to look at every aspect of
the case, and question herself searchingly upon her own aims and ends,
and if the actual facts will or will not fit in with them. Having made
up her mind that for one reason or another it is for her happiness to
take a certain man for her mate, she ought then sedulously to
cultivate all the aspects of the condition which can conduce to peace
and to the attainment and enjoyment of that end. She must not forget
that the man has paid her the highest honour a man can pay a woman. He
has selected her to be his life's companion. He proposes in nine cases
out of ten, to provide her with a home and a position in life, and to
take upon himself the responsibility of her maintenance (when the
woman has money of her own this question is different naturally). But
in all cases the man in asking her to marry him has shown that
something i