long's I don't worrit nobody. I sleep where I like, if the bobbies
don't get their eyes on me w'en I'm agoin' to bed, an' I heat wotever
comes in my way if it ain't too tough. In winter I sleeps in a lodgin'
'ouse w'en I can but as it costs thrippence a night, I finds it too
expensive, an' usually prefers a railway arch, or a corner in Covent
Garden Market, under a cart or a barrow, or inside of a empty
sugar-barrel--anywhere so long's I'm let alone; but what with the rain,
the wind, the cold, and the bobbies, I may be said to sleep under
difficulties. Vell, as I was agoin' to say w'en--"

"Excuse me once more--what is your name?" said I.

"Hain't got no name."

"No name! Come, you are joking. What is your father's name?"

"Hain't got no father--never 'ad, as I knows on, nor mother neither, nor
brother, nor sister, nor aunt, nor wife--not even a mother-in-law. I'm
a unit in creation, I is--as I once heerd a school-board buffer say w'en
he was luggin' me along to school; but he was too green, that buffer
was, for a school-boarder. I gave 'im the slip at the corner of Watling
Street, an' they've never bin able to cotch me since."

"But you must be known by some name," said I. "What do your companions
call you?"

"They call me bad names, as a rule. Some o' the least offensive among
'em are Monkey-face, Screwnose, Cheeks, Squeaker, Roundeyes, and
Slidder. I prefers the last myself, an' ginerally answers to it. But,
as I was agoin' to say, I'd bin away for a veek, an' w'en I comed
'ome--"

"To which part of home? for London is a wide word, you know," I said.

"Now, sir, if you go for to interrupt me like that I'll 'ave to charge a
bob for this here valk; I couldn't stand it for sixpence."

"Come, Slidder, don't be greedy."

"Vell, sir, if you got as many kicks as I do, and as few ha'pence,
p'r'aps you'd be greedy too."

"Perhaps I should, my boy," said I, in a gentle tone. "But come, I will
give you an extra sixpence if we get along well. Let's have the rest of
your story; I won't interrupt again."

"It ain't my story, it's Punch's story," returned the waif, as he
stooped to pat the gratified doggie. "Vell, w'en I com'd 'ome it was
lateish and I was tired, besides bein' 'ungry; so I goes right off to my
water-butt, intendin' to go to bed as usual, but no sooner did I put my
head in, than out came a most awful growl. The butt lay on its side,
and I backed out double quick just in time, for a most