he bell--and instead of a servant my Wife answered the
summons. "The door is locked, dear," I observed, "and as the key seems
to be on the other side, will you kindly open it, as I am in a hurry
to be off."

"You will stay where you are," was the reply. "You are not going to
get killed by attending a nonsensical Revision Court."

"But I must go," I explained; and then assuming a tone of authority I
rarely adopt, I added, "and you will be good enough to open the door
at once."

"I shall do nothing of the sort," replied my Wife, calmly. "I locked
you in, and I shan't let you out."

"What, Madam," I exclaimed; "do you defy my authority?"

"Certainly!" was the immediate response, "You may say or think what
you like, but you don't leave this house to-day as sure as I am your
lawfully wedded Wife."

And as a matter of fact I didn't!

(_Signed._) A. BRIEFLESS, JUNIOR.

_Pump-handle Court._

* * * * *

OPERATIC NOTES.

[Illustration]

_Monday_.--To see MADAME ALBANI as _Violetta_ the consumptive
heroine of "_La Traviata_." Charmingly sung and admirably, nay, most
touchingly, acted. MAUREL excellent as _Germont Senior_, and MONTARIOL
quite the weak-minded masher _Alfredo_. What a different turn the
story might have taken had it occurred to _Violetta_ to have a
flirtation with the handsome middle-aged _pere noble_! At one time it
almost seemed as if there had been some change in motive of the Opera
since I last saw it, and that the above original idea was about to
be carried out. But no; in another second _Germont-Maurel_ as "Old
Maurelity" (by kind permission of TOBY, M.P.) had pulled himself
together, and _Albani-Violetta_ was in the depths of remorseful
sorrow. In that gay and festive supper scene, where a physician,
unostentatiously styled _Il Dottore_ (he would probably be _Ill_
Dottore the morning after) is present to look after the health of the
guests, and perhaps to "propose" it, I noticed with pleasure that,
on the tables, DRURIOLANUS ALDERMANICUS, mindful of civic feasts, had
placed bottles of real champagne, or at least real champagne-bottles.
This interested the audience muchly, and numerous were the glasses
turned in the direction of the bottles--of course 'tis opera-glasses
I mean, yer honour,--in order to ascertain what particular wanity was
_La Traviata's_ favourite; but the bottles were so placed that only
one unimportant word on the label was visible. Was it Pomme