s to how the
classic contest was to "come off." A great many young gentlemen insisted
that it was in the nature of a "set-to," and, for that reason, that
Professor Relyat Siwel, being the smallest man, should be allowed to
"choose his corner." Many, however, thought that it was in the nature of
a steeple chase, and that as the Professor was the lightest weight, he
ought to go it "leaded." This vexed question was at length put at rest
by an inquisitive Sophomore's reading the foot-note referred to, in
which it was discovered that the fun was over. This blow was followed by
another, viz., a rumor that Professor Relyat Siwel felt it his duty to
decline, for the reason that it was by no means certain that _Plato_ had
ever put up a thousand dollars, or any other amount whatever.

Karl hailed this decision of the Professor as a "back out," and after
reading his reply to the essay several times in manuscript, and
innumerable times in print, he came to a conclusion that the controversy
contained the two great desiderata of all controversies, those for which
ignorant men study, lazy men work, ministers quarrel, quiet old
gentlemen write newspaper articles, ladies set their caps, and nations
go to war--namely triumph and defeat. As he had had the "last word," of
course his last arguments were unanswered--he was triumphant, and
Professor Relyat Siwel beaten.

This comforting reflection did not reach so far as the colleges and
universities, and within their peaceful walls was heard a voice of anger
and regret. The quiet portion of the undergraduates (who intended to be
clergymen and physicians) mourned the loss of the anticipated contest as
a defeat of the cause of learning--one which it would probably survive,
but still one in which it had been floored. The unquiet portion (who
intended to be lawyers or statesmen) heard the news with virtuous
indignation; by them the senior editor, with even the _Zuyderzee_
itself, was anathematized. In the literary societies, where embryo
lawyers are always largely in the majority, for the reason that
fifteen-sixteenths of the young men of the United States intend, in
early life, to be Cokes and Littletons, there were passed, by
acclamation, most severe resolutions, expressive of deep regret, that in
the nineteenth century, in a free country, in the empire state, in a
city devoted to literature, an editor--one conducting a magazine
professing to be favorable to the development of the nation's
r