hing of professional jealousy, it exists in the army as elsewhere;
but it is a bitter thought to me that the recognition denied me by my
country--or rather by the Radical cabal in the Cabinet which pursues my
family with rancorous class hatred--that this recognition, I say, came
to me at the hands of an enemy--of a rank Prussian.

THE LADY. You don't say so!

AUGUSTUS. How else should I be here instead of starving to death in
Ruhleben? Yes, madam: the Colonel of the Pomeranian regiment which
captured me, after learning what I had done, and conversing for an
hour with me on European politics and military strategy, declared that
nothing would induce him to deprive my country of my services, and set
me free. I offered, of course, to procure the release in exchange of
a German officer of equal quality; but he would not hear of it. He was
kind enough to say he could not believe that a German officer answering
to that description existed. [With emotion.] I had my first taste of the
ingratitude of my own country as I made my way back to our lines. A shot
from our front trench struck me in the head. I still carry the flattened
projectile as a trophy [he throws it on the table; the noise it makes
testifies to its weight]. Had it penetrated to the brain I might never
have sat on another Royal Commission. Fortunately we have strong heads,
we Highcastles. Nothing has ever penetrated to our brains.

THE LADY. How thrilling! How simple! And how tragic! But you will
forgive England? Remember: England! Forgive her.

AUGUSTUS [with gloomy magnanimity]. It will make no difference whatever
to my services to my country. Though she slay me, yet will I, if not
exactly trust in her, at least take my part in her government. I am ever
at my country's call. Whether it be the embassy in a leading European
capital, a governor-generalship in the tropics, or my humble mission
here to make Little Pifflington do its bit, I am always ready for the
sacrifice. Whilst England remains England, wherever there is a public
job to be done you will find a Highcastle sticking to it. And now,
madam, enough of my tragic personal history. You have called on
business. What can I do for you?

THE LADY. You have relatives at the Foreign Office, have you not?

AUGUSTUS [haughtily]. Madam, the Foreign Office is staffed by my
relatives exclusively.

THE LADY. Has the Foreign Office warned you that you are being pursued
by a female spy who is determined to obtain p