k turn, to take him in the rear of his position, but
finds a strong body of five divisions hurled upon his headquarters with
an impetuosity that knocks out half his teeth.

"Art satisfied, Horatio?" said Captain Bob Shorty, with more or less
Bowery Theatre in his manner.

An awful smile appeared upon what were left of the features of Captain
Munchausen. It was so full of scorn, you know.

"Sir," said he, with much chivalry of bearing, and some difficulty of
utterance, "my jaw may be broken, but I thank fate for it. It's a long
time since I had anything to eat with my mouth, and to defend it at all
was useless."

"Ha! ha! ha!" roared Captain Bob Shorty; "I really never did see
anything so jolly."

"Madman!" yelled Munchausen, "your destruction is decided!"

Then were all the skips and hops repeated, my boy; with such ornamental
bits of occasional fine art as the refined reporters of our excellent
moral daily journals love to dwell fondly upon. Were I but such a
reporter, I would describe the scene in a way to make you take it home
to your children. But let me not waste time in lamentation; for, just
then, a something heavy fell upon the right eye of Captain Munchausen,
and effectually closed it for a week.

"Ah!" said Captain Bob Shorty, pleasantly, "did you count the stars
upon our Flag that time, my grayback?"

"Sir," retorted Munchausen, staggering about, and wildly pulling
handfuls of imperceptible hair out of invisible heads in the air,--"I
consider the loss of that eye a blessing in disguise; for I can now
concentrate my WHOLE strength on the other."

"Well, now, really," said Captain Bob Shorty,--"really, you know, I
never see anything half so jolly."

"Extermination is now your doom," howled the Confederacy, reeling
deliberately forward upon the first fist he met, and falling heavily to
the ground with his other eye emphatically darkened.

Instantly was Captain Bob Shorty at his side, exclaiming, "I'm sorry
for this, old chap. I wish you'd only consented to stop before--EH?"
ejaculated Captain Bob Shorty,--"what's that you say?"

As true as I live and breathe, my boy,--as true as I live and
breathe,--when Captain Bob Shorty put his ear to the mouth of the
fallen Confederacy, he heard, slowly spoken, these remarkable words:

"I'm--glad--this--has--happened--because--I--can--now--develop--my--
REAL--resources--of----strength!!!"

Yours, speechlessly,

ORPHEUS C. KERR.

LETTER CIII.