es, and fired his carpet-tacks into the soft hat of the nearest
Mackerel, causing that hoary veteran to drop his will and scratch his
head with an air of hopeless bewilderment.

"Have you any tea that you could give me?" says the Confederacy,
scrambling into the Fort,--"any Hyson senior or junior? Have you any
coffee? Oh, _do_ give me some coffee." Here the Confederacy winked
profoundly, to indicate that his request was intended merely as a bit
of surprising humor. Meantime, six other Confederacies with
horse-pistols had walked in to look for breakfast, and the facetious
business of relieving the slowly-awakened garrison of their
loud-ticking and rather cheap gold watches was performed with neatness
and dispatch. After which the aged Mackerels were dismissed to join the
main body of the ancient Brigade some ten yards to the rear of the
work, with the remark, that their vandal rulers would find it somewhat
difficult to reconstruct the sunny South.

Thus, my boy, was accomplished another of those surprises which not
unfrequently give the most villanous cause an appearance of temporary
success; though at times they prove real blessings to the good cause by
including the capture of three or four brass-buttoned brigadiers.

But, pause, my feeble pen, ere thou venturest upon the hopeless task of
putting into language the holy rage of the General of the Mackerel
Brigade, when he learned the capture of Fort Bledandide. Pause,
miserable quill, ere thou plungest into an insane effort to picture the
awful state of vengeance exciting Captain Villiam Brown on the same
occasion. As is his invariable custom at such junctures, the General at
once retired to his tent to practise on the accordion, leaving Villiam
to form a few regiments of the Mackerel reserve in line of battle for
the recapture of the position.

"Ah!" says Villiam, spiritedly, "here's a chance for a baynit charge
after the manner of Napoleon's Old Guard; and I hereby notify Regiment
5, that the eyes of the whole world are upon them."

Captain Bob Shorty and I had got ready our bits of smoked glass, to
preserve our eyes from the too-great glitter of the dazzling
achievement about to come off, when we noticed that Villiam motioned
with his famous sword, Escalibar, for the spectacled warriors to pause
a moment.

"If any of you martial beings happen to have any small change about you
at this exciting moment," says Villiam, paternally, "I will take charge
of it, for s